Rosh HaShanah - 013 Two Days of R"H

The pasuk says, "Seek Hashem when He is found, call upon Him when He is near" (Yeshayahu 55:6). As we know, this pasuk refers to the period from Rosh HaShanah to Yom Kippur, when Hashem is closest to us. But what is the connection between the judgment of Rosh HaShanah and the closeness to Hashem at that time?

The Rishonim and Acharonim teach that the judgment on Rosh HaShanah is not only about this world, but also about the World to Come. The question is obvious: whether the World to Come refers to the final world or to the place one goes after death, what point is there in judging the individual about it each year? Why not wait until it is relevant?

On Rosh HaShanah, the day when Hashem created the world, He judges not only each person, but also the world as a whole, to evaluate if it is fulfilling its purpose of revealing Him, as is written, "I created it for My honor" (ibid. 43:7). In the context of that evaluation, each person is judged about how he is contributing to the world's general goal of revealing Hashem's presence here, first in our personal lives, and then, to others.

This explains the two kinds of judgments on Rosh HaShanah: we are examined one by one, like sheep, but also all together in one survey (Rosh HaShanah 18a). We are judged as individuals, but we are also judged as to the general goal of the world. How much has each of us contributed to this general goal?

Now we understand the connection between closeness to Hashem and the judgment at this time. One might have merits that will earn him health and a livelihood. But the primary judgment is about how much he is living up to the goal of Creation: "Man was only created to delight in Hashem and enjoy His presence" (Mesillas Yesharim Ch. 1).

The two days of judgment exist because first Hashem judges souls and then bodies, meaning that on the first day, one is judged on how much he recognizes Hashem and has revealed Him in his own life, and on the second day, his actions are weighed. As a result of the judgments, on the first day, one's opportunity to attain closeness to Hashem is decided, while on the second day, material concerns are determined.

What is our portion in the World to Come? It is said, "In the future, Hashem will place the righteous in a circle, and each will point to Him (so to speak) and say, ‘This is Hashem, Whom we have longed for'" (Ta'anis 31a). To the extent of the depth and breadth of one's awareness of Hashem, one has a portion in the World to Come. "There is no eating or drinking there. The righteous will sit with crowns and delight in the radiance of the Divine Presence." That is to say, one's portion is equal to the awareness of Hashem in his heart.

If you want to know what your condition will be in the next world, evaluate your inner awareness of Hashem now. That is an indication of your future existence.

One the ten days of repentance, Hashem is closer to us, and when something is closer, you can see it more clearly. Throughout the year, we have distractions, and it is hard to assess our true level. In the ten days of repentance, Hashem removes the obstacles, and we are able to examine ourselves: how close do we then feel to Hashem? Can we point with our finger, so to speak, and say, "This is Hashem, Whom we have longed for?" If even on these holy days, we cannot feel Hashem, we have no relationship with Him, God forbid! The ten days of repentance show you if you have a relationship, or if, God forbid, your soul is disconnected from its Source.

On one hand, we must examine our actions, such as if we have learned a lot of Torah or a little, and so on. But in addition, we must check the extent of our inner awareness of Hashem. Hashem lives in the heart of each one of us, as Chazal have taught us. We cannot just know about this fact; we must really feel it.

We cannot only focus on the actions, although we must do that too. We must also focus on our interior. In that way, we will be judged primarily on the first day, because our connection to Hashem is the main thing for us.

If one mainly requests material things, he determines his low level and will only be judged on the second day. Each of us determines his own judgment. If we really seek to sense Him in our hearts, we are judged on the first day. One who is closer to Hashem is judged earlier, before there is anger, as the gemara says (Rosh HaShanah 16a). The logic behind this is that one who is closer to Hashem does not deserve Divine anger.

Rosh Hashanah is the beginning of the process of the year. If we seek Hashem, we will sense His presence. But first, we must truly seek Him, not because we are desperate for children, money, and so on. Certainly, it is good that one knows where to seek. But we must mainly seek Hashem himself! We must know what life is about. Many people never discover what life is all about, even if they hardly sin.

As the Bais HaMikdash was the collective resting place for the Divine Presence, so is each heart a personal resting place. When a person would enter the Bais HaMikdash, he would gain a palpable feeling of Hashem's existence. In Yerushalayim of old, the people had such a clear feeling of His presence, and this protected them from sinning, and at least inspired them to immediately repent, if they happened to sin. As the Rambam and Rama say, "People act differently when they feel in the presence of the King."

The purpose of sacrifices was to remove the barrier between the person and Hashem, and bring the awareness of His presence in the person's heart. When a person would bring a sacrifice, he needed to confess. When he repented, he would feel Hashem, if it was accepted through his sincere and complete repentance.

This was the reason that "From Zion comes Torah." In Yerushalayim, they felt Hashem, and that enabled them to receive Torah, just as the Torah was originally given from the Divine Presence.

This was all true when there was a Bais HaMikdash, but now that there isn't a Mikdash or Mizbeach (altar), we at least have our hearts. Hashem dwells in the heart of each of us. Just as they really felt Hashem in the Mikdash, so can it be in the heart. We can really feel Hashem there.

Just as on Yom Kippur, the Kohen Gadol would enter the innermost place of the Bais HaMikdash, now that there is no Mikdash, we must enter the deepest place in our heart.

We used to find Hashem in the Kodesh HaKodashim (Holy of Holies), and so do we find him in our heart, if it is a heart of flesh, not of stone.

It used to be obvious that the goal of life is an inner closeness to Hashem, but now, this has become a novel idea. We must return to the way of life of our ancestors, the Avos, the generation of the desert, and the people of the times of the Bais HaMikdash.

We need both proper actions and feelings. Our actions of mitzvos must pull along our hearts, but just as in the laws of acquisition (kinyan meshichah, for example), intent is required, so must our mitzvos be done with the intent that our hearts will be elevated.

We need a clear awareness of Hashem that will last all year. If we understand that this is what life is all about, it will last, but if these are taken as mere words of inspiration and excitement, they will have no stability. We know that the holidays will pass, and then we might go on as before. After mere inspiration, one can just go back to sleep, but if we learn what life is all about, our knowledge will last.

If one's mind now is about becoming close to Hashem through Torah and mitzvos, he is worthy to be judged on the first day, but not if he thinking already about the arba minim, the succah, and other issues.

We want Hashem to give us a permanent and lasting good judgment; we must likewise make a permanent change. Mere inspiration is not life. Would you hire a contractor who will only build when he is inspired? Of course not! Likewise, we must commit to build ourselves continually. We must realize deeply in the heart that we want closeness to Hashem, and then we can "seek Hashem when He is present."

As Hillel said, "The rest is commentary." You must make the initial commitment, and then understand throughout the year how everything is based on it. When you understand and then instill in your heart that this is the way of life, and use it to build the rest of the year, you will merit, "Seek Hashem when He is Present."