Bilvavi Part 7 - 008 Deep Method of Hisbodedus | Entering Havayah

בלבבי חלק ז עמ' נז – עא (אמונה – סוד עבודת עץ החיים)

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[INTRODUCTION]

The Ramchal writes in Sefer Adir B’Marom (p.416):

“It is written: “G-d made man upright (yoshor), but they seek many calculations (cheshbonos rabim)” - had man reached the state of perfection, he would never need to engage in any “calculations”. But when man descended from his level after partaking of the Eitz HaDaas Tov V’Ra (the Tree of Knowledge of Good and Evil), his eyes became “clever”, and instead of going in a path of holiness, now man would have to traverse a path of crookedness. The intended way of mankind was to be yosher (straight), but man has become crooked with cheshbonos rabim, “many calculations”.

“However, we can see that the original path of mankind has not been totally abandoned. The way of yashrus (straightness) is still standing in its place, above, and one can return to it. It is just that one needs much help and strong energy to get there, to be able to leave his “many calculations” no matter what situation he is in, and return to the state of knowing that Hashem runs everything and that all will eventually return to Him….

“One who merits this is called yashar lev, one whose “heart is straight”….One who merits will gain a spirit to enable him to go on the straight path of yoshor and to totally abandon the crooked path of cheshbonos rabim. All other ways [besides for the path of yoshor] are many and can become many other ways, for evil can take hold on them.

“…One who knows this will be able to draw himself closer to menuchah (serenity of the soul) even through learning the Torah, to fulfill the verse, “Cast your lot upon Hashem.” We still need to make use of the “cheshbonos rabim” in order to protect ourselves as we traverse our path, for it would be foolish not to be.”

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Thus, there are two paths.

1) The path of “cheshbonos rabim”, “many calculations”, and this is rooted in the Eitz HaDaas. Mankind is now connected to this path ever since Adam ate from the Eitz HaDaas [so we inevitably start out with it].

2) The path of emunah [or yoshor\yashrus]as the Ramchal said, that one can return to the state of knowing that Hashem runs everything and that all will return to Him. (It is just that we need to make use of cheshbonos rabim in order not to “get lost” from our path; the ideal path to take is not cheshbonos rabim, but emunah.) That was the path that existed before Adam’s sin.

Although we now live after the sin, still, the Ramchal has taught us: “We can see that the original path of mankind has not been totally abandoned. The way of yashrus (straightness) is still standing in its place, above, and one can return to it.”

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The way which we are coming to explain here is the way of yosher, the straight path – the path of emunah, which is also called the path of the Eitz HaChaim. It is the path that Adam cleaved to before the sin.

Understand this, because all souls were contained in Adam HaRishon. Therefore, every person, every neshamah, is literally a part of Adam HaRishon. The path of total yoshor\emunah\Eitz HaChaim was completely revealed before the sin of Adam, and now that we live after the sin, it has become concealed and hidden [but it still exists].

It is now our avodah to return to the revelation of that state, as the Ramchal has written about.

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It is written that Hashem “fashions light and creates darkness”. Creation is always being renewed. The holy sefarim explain that Creation is always cycling between the state of “Yeish” (The physical dimension of reality) and “Ayin” (The non-physical; the spiritual layer of reality).

Understand what this is, because that means that at any given moment, a person can resemble Adam before the sin – for we are being created new every moment.

Now we will explain this more. The concept of sin is only in the physical dimension (Yeish); when the physical dimension becomes integrated into and becomes the spiritual reality, Ayin, there is no possibility of sin. The spiritual dimension, Ayin, has no tangibility to us; therefore, sin does not exist in it. This is clear and simple to anyone who understands it; let it suffice with just these words.

And since this is so, that Creation is always being renewed every moment, going from Ayin to Yeish, this implies that before Creation, Yeish was integrated with Ayin, and that is why before Creation there was no possibility of sin. Thus, the inner dimension of reality [the state of before Creation, which is still existing, but it is hidden] is a place where there is no possibility of sin at all.

However, from the external dimension of reality that we see, it doesn’t appear to us that way; the external dimension of reality doesn’t show us any renewal and it doesn’t show us any cycle of Yeish-Ayin-Yeish. From the external perspective on reality [our physical dimension], Yeish continues to exist on the plane in which sin is a possibility. Therefore, because we see through a physical dimension, we are required to do teshuvah for our sins.

Both perspectives on reality (external and internal) are true, however; they do not invalidate the other.

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Thus, if a person wants to attach himself to the state of Adam before the sin, he has to connect himself on a constant basis to the state of Ayin; his Yeish must become bound up with Ayin and integrated with it. It is to enter a renewed state of Creation in which there is “Yeish M’Ayin” – “Something from nothing” [when he attaches his physical state, Yeish, with the spiritual state, Ayin, he receives a new kind of Yeish].

Without attaching the state of Yeish to the state of Ayin, a person remains bound to the sensual and external layer of reality, which is the totally physical dimension – the Yeish that began with Adam’s sin which continues until today. If a person is bound to the superficial layer of reality, that means it is possible for him to sin, and thus he won’t be able to become attached to the level of Adam before the sin.

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In order for a person to awaken himself to this concept, he will need a guided path to get there. Here it will be attempted, with the help of Hashem, to explain what the path is.

Hashem said, “It is not good for man to be alone.” Our Sages said, “Hashem is the only One above, and He has no mate; while man is below [therefore, he needs a mate].”[1] Understand this: Adam HaRishon, in his natural state, was created “alone.” (Meaning, there was no woman yet in Creation; woman was rather integrated into man. Afterwards, woman was created, and this began a new level of existence for man. Later, this will be explained, G-d willing).

Therefore, if a person wants to awaken and reveal in himself the state of Adam before the sin, he must enter a kind of life which is “alone.”

(This does not mean that one should become anti-social. Chazal say that one should be daato m’ureves im habriyos, to be pleasant and get along with others. However, we need to view the social aspect of our life as a “garment” we wear sometimes, and we should not view our social aspect of life as the essence of our life. We can be with others at times, and it is not a contradiction to living an inner life of “alone.” It is just that we need to view the “alone” as the actual essence of our life. Soon, we will explain this as well, G-d willing).

Practically speaking, a person has to try to arrange a kind of life for himself in which he can have this state of “alone” - to have solitude.

The depth of these words is because man’s purpose is to become a vessel that holds the light of the Ein Sof (Endlessness) of Hashem. The “vessel” which we need to become has to be able to hold spiritual light, or else the spiritual light cannot enter the vessel. Therefore, since Hashem is called the “Yachid” (the One) who resides above, so must man reflect this concept of “Yachid” and be “alone” on This World, and that is how man can become a vessel that holds the spiritual light of Endlessness – for by attaining the state of “alone”, the “vessel” will then begin to resemble the spiritual light that is entering it.

This is the meaning behind “And Yaakov fought alone, and Hashem remained alone with him.” In other words, because Yaakov attained “alone”, he became a vessel to hold the spiritual light of Hashem’s Endlessness – “And Hashem remained alone with him.”

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[BEGINNING THE DEEP MEDITATION]

In order to understand these words – in order for a person to negate his state of Yeish and instead let his Yeish become integrated with Ayin, as we explained before – a person will first need to disconnect himself from the external dimension of Yeish.

Therefore, the first step a person needs to do is to separate himself from [the people in] his external surroundings, being that they consider themselves to be of Yeish [and they don’t identify themselves with the reality of Ayin]; and then, a person will be able to enter the lifestyle of “alone.”

In this stage, one abandons Yeish in relation to people.

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In addition to this, one needs to separate himself from the [external] place he is in as well. This is because the place you are in is a place of Yeish, for the people that live in it consider themselves to be living solely in Yeish; it therefore awakens your perspective of Yeish when you are focused on it.

That is why a person has to enter the state of “alone” only when he is apart from his external surroundings, where no one is around to remind him of anything Yeish. A person has to consider his solitude as the main aspect of his life – both in regards to being isolated from people, and in relation to the surroundings.

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In addition, one also has to separate from “Yeish” in the time he is in. (We separate from Yeish in all three planes - place, time, and soul. However, we have not gone in order of place-time-soul. Here, we have first explained how to separate from place, and now we are explaining how to separate from time).

The “Yeish” aspect of time is the light of the day, which enables you to see physicality. The “Ayin” aspect in time is the darkness of nighttime, when you can’t see your physical surroundings and you are thus not connected to “Yeish” of your surroundings.

Therefore, a person should train himself to get used to sitting in the dark, for certain stretches of time. This is a matter written about in Sefer HaMaspik of Rabbi Avraham ben HaRambam (in the section which explains hisbodedus\meditation).

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[In relation to the Sefiros[2]], Ayin is also known as Keser (lit. crown) and Yeish is known as Chochmah (lit. wisdom). Therefore, when a person wishes to connect himself to Ayin, he needs to leave the plane of chochmah.

Of chochmah, it is written, “With wisdom, a house is built.” Thus, a person needs to leave his house, which is his physical surroundings, Yeish. He also has to leave the light of the day, because light is “ohr”, and ohr is another term for chochmah.

Keser is the hidden dimension and it is concealed; the darkness of the night, which conceals one from physicality, is the way to attach oneself to concealment, and that is why a person needs to become accustomed to sitting in the dark.

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There are three levels to “alone.” 1) The first level is to be alone from people. 2) The second level is to be alone from civilization. 3) The third level is to be away from light.

Through this, a person leaves Yeish of place, time and soul (people), and he can now connect to Ayin in place, time and soul.

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Until now we have explained how to leave the external layer of Yeish: to be away from people, from civilization, and from light. Now we will begin to explain how we can nullify the Yeish in our own soul.

However, this stage can only be reached after one has separated himself from his physical surroundings as we explained above and he is thus living the state of “alone”.

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Yeish is called chochmah (wisdom), and it is also called machshavah (thought) or mochin (mind). It is the thoughts of our mind which enable us to have “cheshbonos rabim”, the “many calculations” [which make us deviate from the path of absolute emunah].

It is man’s task to negate his cheshbonos rabim, his state of Yeish; as we brought from the Ramchal. This can only be done through emunah, as he says.

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Now these words will be expanded and explained, with the help of Hashem.

There are some thoughts we need to think about, such as the thought to go to sleep or to eat when we have to. It is not these kinds of thoughts which we need to nullify. You certainly need to think about your needs; just make sure not to think about things that are more than your necessity.

We also have thoughts about having to make effort in making a living, and how to make money. These thoughts need to be uprooted - mentally or verbally. Internalize the statement of our Sages that “the food of a person is already determined for him” – nothing can get added onto your predetermined amount, because Hashem has already decreed how much you will get. Therefore, any thoughts about trying to make more money than your destined amount will only prove futile.

Keep repeating this thought to yourself [verbally or mentally] until you have calmed your desire to make money and have sufficient livelihood. Do the same when it comes to other worldly desires as well, such as the desire for marital intimacy, as well as all other various physical desires. Think only about what you absolutely need.

The truth is that it is impossible to calm yourself perfectly when it comes to these matters, but you should draw yourself closer to this level as much as you feel you can.

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We also have thoughts about Torah. At the beginning of one’s path, it is of course necessary for one to exert himself in Torah study very much, until his mind is purified and calm and totally immersed in thoughts of Torah; this is how a person attains his Chochmah. But after this, a person needs to attach himself to the state of “no knowledge” – to truly feel and recognize that “Man is a boor, who does not know.” It is called lo yeda, to “not” know.

The truth is that of all people it can be said that “man is a boor, who does not know.” Our wisdom cannot perceive the endless wisdom of Hashem. One must internalize this fact very well, and remove his feeling that he understands things, and instead feel that he does not understand things. He must come to understand that he does not understand – “man is a boor”.

In order to help himself accept this fact, one should use an ability called sod hahafachim, the “secret of opposites” – he should realize that for everything we understand, there is always an opposite way to understand. In this way, a person can really come to feel that he does not understand anything, for as much as we understand, so do we not understand – thus, whatever we do comprehend doesn’t mean that we comprehend things.

One must use this ability properly and not use it conceitedly, chas v’shalom, to think that now he understands things even more; the point of using sod hahafachim is to really understand and agree that you do not comprehend things at all. There is nothing we know, because since there is always an opposite way to understand, nothing is ever absolute knowledge to us. This helps you nullify your sense of understanding things (yeda) and to instead realize that you do not understand things (lo yeda).

If one doesn’t know how to use sod hahafachim, he can still nullify his knowledge by having simple and earnest faith in this concept, that the wisdom of Hashem is endless, and therefore, whatever we do comprehend is not even comprehensible. This connects our soul to lo yeda.

In this way, a person ascends from the world of thought\Yeish\yeda, and he connects to Ayin\Lo Yeda.

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Another step in nullifying our state of Yeish is to realize that Creation is not just a physical dimension; there is G-dliness contained in everything, and the spark of G-dliness that is in everything is what leads each thing.

So you need to view Creation with the understanding that there is G-dliness in everything. When you see something, focus on its aspect of G-dliness, instead of just seeing it as it appears. The G-dliness that is in each thing is really the point of Ayin [that is within Yeish]. Therefore, in whatever you see, focus on the fact that Hashem controls it; feel and sense that Hashem is empowering it.

In this way, you negate Yeish. You come to feel that the world does not run itself, but rather, that Hashem is running each thing in the world. As Dovid HaMelech said, “Hashem told him to curse.” In each thing you see, see how “Hashem told him to curse” – meaning, realize that only Hashem enables anything to work, and nothing and no one else. Don’t attribute anything on this world to people.

Through this kind of thinking, a person leaves his attachment with the creations (nivra) and instead he connects the Creator (Borei).

This is a long avodah: to feel that each and every thing is only from Hashem’s ability, and that nothing at all is being run by people. It is a deep perspective which is acquired only through mentally reflecting on the concept, detail after detail, hundreds and thousands of times, and even more than that. You should try this mentally and verbally: “There is no one in charge of anything, no one except the Creator.”

As a direct result of this avodah, you will also find yourself being removed from fears, and from conceited kinds of thoughts, as well as other negative traits!

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In addition, a person also needs to view himself with a perspective of emunah: One should feel that every thought you experience, even the tiniest and most fleeting kind of thought, as well any emotion of your heart (joy, sadness, fear, etc.), every feeling, every movement, etc. is all from Hashem, literally!

This does not contradict the fact that we have free will. We have free will to control our thoughts and desires. But what we don’t control is the fact that the thoughts and the desires fall into us in the first place. All that comes into us is from Hashem.

In summary: One must feel strongly that every ability in himself comes from Hashem. (The only exception is our power of free will.) In order to come to terms with this, one must mentally reflect on detail after detail in his life, repeating it to himself mentally and verbally, that everything in him comes from Hashem.

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Now understand: Emunah is the power to negate the physical existence of your “I.” Emunah is to negate any trace of Yeish (the physical dimension), and to reveal Hashem in its place.

This is the meaning of the words of the Ramchal quoted earlier, that a person must “know that Hashem rules over all, and that all will return to Him.”

This is the work of man: to negate the physical aspect of our “I”, more and more – through tapping into the concept of emunah. The more a person deepens this awareness, the more he leaves Yeish, the physical layer of Creation – and he enters Ayin, into the world of the Creator.

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Until now we have explained how one removes himself from actions and from all nivraim (creations and people), and in turn, to recognize that it is only Hashem who is behind all.

The only exception to this part (negating all actions) is the concept of bechirah, for it is always up to man to choose between acting right and wrong. However, even our power of bechirah comes from Hashem; when one understands this, he removes himself from bechirah as well. When you realize this kind of emunah, this is how you negate your very “I.”

The sefarim hakedoshim revealed that there are two kinds of bechirah. 1) The simple power of free will. 2) To “choose not to choose.” We are coming to explain the second level of bechirah: to “choose not to choose”, to realize that only Hashem is behind everything.

Let it suffice with these words; it is a deep concept.

When one reaches this second kind of bechirah, he attains a higher kind of bechirah. This is the depth behind emunah: to negate the “I” that chooses – which in turn nullifies the “I” with the more tone does this.

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After a person has separated himself from all the nivraim (creation), which includes separating from the people of society as well as from his own activities (for he, too, is part of the nivraim of the world), and in its place he connects himself to the Borei (Creator), he has mostly left the outer dimension of Yeish (thus it is considered as if he is left it entirely). He is not involving himself with actions of created beings, and he is now connected instead with what actions of Hashem, in the understanding of “All of them, You made with wisdom”.

Now the avodah is to leave the world of action entirely and enter into the world of havayah (the higher dimension of reality).

To explain this matter, there is handiwork of the Creator, and there is rest of the Creator. The absence of handiwork is the concept of Shabbos, where there is no action. It reveals the world of havayah.

At first, a person’s avodah is to connect himself to the Creator’s handiwork, to “All of them, You made with wisdom”, and after this, one can involve himself with the world of havayah. (The intention here is to enter it within one’s soul, and not to say it with one’s mouth, because as we know, it is forbidden to pronounce the name of havayah). Understand well that there is a difference between Hashem’s handiwork and havayah, for this is one of the deepest fundamentals of the Torah.

The main way in which one can remove himself from this world of action and enter havayah is through accessing the perspective of yediah over his bechirah. This is because bechirah contradicts yediah, and the purpose of why we have this contradiction is so that we will crush our perspective that comes from this world of action, and instead connect ourselves with the world of havayah. Understand this well.

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Before we complete the process of leaving this world of action and crossing over into the world of havayah, it must be added the following important fundamental.

Many mistakes result from our actions. Sometimes a person actually commits a sin, G-d forbid. Sometimes a person does something permitted but it causes him to stumble, and sometimes even doing a mitzvah can cause a person to stumble. The reason that Hashem does this is to show a person that the “I” in us which acts, is really a false implication.

Understand that all successes are really a test to us which make us feel and think, “I am successful.” So when a person stumbles, it is actually a gift from Heaven, which enables him to realize the truth, that his own actions do not make him successful. One needs to think this way towards all of his actions, and think to himself, that all of his successes are really testing his faith, and all of his failures are really forms of help from Hashem to him, to make him realize that he is not in charge.

Indeed, there are many times where Hashem puts a person into a situation in which the person can see right away that there is nothing he can do to alleviate the situation, and that there is no one who can save him – not himself, and not others. All situations that are like this are really a gift of Hashem to the person, to help him see the truth, that his actions cannot accomplish anything. Through thinking about this, a person can reach a true realization, that there is no Worker except Hashem. Then he can take this realization further and view all actions on this world as being Hashem’s actions, and that no one can do anything with his actions. He can go through all of his thoughts, desires, and middos (character traits) and every aspect of his being, and realize that they are all the Creator’s actions.

Understand that there are two aspects of middos in us: there are seven middos in us which come from our lower realms (Asiyah, Yetzirah, and Beriah), and there is a higher group of seven middos in us which come from the higher realm, Atzilus. The first group of middos are within “Yeish”, whereas the second group of middos enable us to have “bittul” (nullification). The middos of bittul are accessed when we use each of the middos to bring ourselves to bittul.

In every thought, there is chochmah, binah, and daas, and in every middah, there are the seven middos (chessed, gevurah, tiferes, netzach, hod, yesod, and malchus). One can go through each of these and declare, “He made, makes, and will make, all actions.” In this way, the middos d’atzilus bring a person to nullify himself and reveal the Creator in place.

This is the depth behind the wisdom of Atzilus: to understand how in each thing, there is no Worker except the Creator, and to see how He is revealed in each and every aspect. If one is examining a success of his, he can understand that it is only Hashem who allowed him to succeed. If he is examining a failure of his, he can understand that it is because he is not able to succeed on his own at anything.

In this way, a person can examine each and every aspect and bring himself to bittul, that there it is only Hashem who lets any action take place.

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Another deep method of removing the “I” with regards to our actions (and it is a path which is even closer to entering the world of havayah, which will soon be explained further, with Hashem’s help), is for a person to break his mochin d’katnus (small-mindedness), through contemplating the concept, “Ana Emloch” (“I rule”), as is well-known.

The simple way in which one rectifies his feelings of self-success is through nullifying his sense of “I am in charge” and realizing that Hashem is in charge.

But the deeper way of this method is to acknowledge who the true “I rule” is, and that the “I” in me is not the one who “rules.” In other words, the inner depth behind the “Emloch” is for one to let Hashem’s will take over and feel the “Ana Emloch” from that higher perspective. Of course, it does not mean that the “I” in me is ruling just because I am acknowledging that it is Hashem who rules over all.

In this way, one nullifies his own will to Hashem’s will, and he lets the “I” of Hashem take over his own “I”, which breaks his entire feeling of “Ana Emloch” that he originally had. In this method, one recognizes that all feelings of self-success are really coming from Hashem, and that one has to remove his own “I” from the picture and instead realize that the “Ana Emloch” kinds of thoughts were not really coming from his “I”, but from the G-dliness [which is present in man].

Let it suffice for now with this, because it is a very deep matter.

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Now it will be explained how to cross over into the world of havayah.

First, there must be a brief introduction to this. Until now, we have explained how to negate the “I.” Now we will explain how one builds the true “I.”

Everything that exists in the inner dimension of this reality is hidden from our physical senses. The way to reach anything in the hidden dimension is through emunah, through believing that it exists, and then we can grab onto it and connect ourselves to it. When one palpably believes in something and he lives with the knowledge of it, and he is deeply aware of it in his mind as well, his deep thoughts about it can be used to awaken in him a sense that can actually feel the hidden dimension. It awakens his neshamah to sense something he knows of deeply, to the point where he actually feels it in his heart.

In other words, first a person has to simply believe in a concept that exists, and he must keep believing in it, even though he cannot actually sense what he believes. If he keeps being persistent in his belief, as time goes on, a matter he believes in will slowly become revealed from within his neshamah and it will be sensed in his heart.

This is the secret of emunah: it reveals something from its potential state to its active state. It enables that which was until now hidden and concealed from the person, to become actually felt and sensed.

This fundamental concept is the backbone of all the words to come. We will be dealing here with how to reveal realities that are not revealed to our physical senses, and the way to reveal those realities is through emunah that these realities exist. Remember this introduction well, and seal it in your mind well.

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Understand, that the way to deepen our daas (mental perception) towards something, is accomplished in two ways.

(1) Through the power of mental visualization and imagination. This power is tangible to us and it is within the logical realm. (2) Through the power of abstract thought. This power requires us to enter the realm of the unknown. 

Most of our avodah is usually about revealing realities which are not in the realm of the known. Thus, we mainly need to use the power of abstract thought, divorced from any kind of mental picture or visualization.

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We already explained in the introduction that we are coming here to explain how we can awaken and reveal the point of “Adam HaRishon before the cheit” in us. Thus, in order for a person to enter the world of havayah, he will first need to mentally visualize (at this very beginning stage, we need to make use of the power of imagination, and not abstract thought) the following: that there is nothing that exists at all on this world except you - just as Adam had no one else in the world with him.

Contemplate the fact that Adam HaRishon had no parents, he had no mate before the creation of Chavah, he had no children yet at that point – he was totally alone on the world, with no person to talk to. There were no creations in the world except him. Think about this very deeply.

(In order to contemplate this properly, you will need to have isolated yourself to a place where there are no people and no civilization, and it should be in the dark; all of this we said earlier, as an introduction to this).

Do not think that this is a fantasy; do not think that the reality around you is contradicting this thought, for you see that there are many creations in the world. The deep reality is that there is no one in the world, but we cannot see this deep reality, for it is very concealed from us. By awakening the concept of it in your thoughts, you awaken yourself to feel the truth of it, and that it is not a fantasy at all.

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After deeply contemplating and being very sure in your mind that there are no creations in the world except for Hashem, now think: who is found in the world, with you? There is no one with you except Hashem. Clarify this to yourself well: Hashem is with you, in every place and at all times, for “His glory fills the world.” (On a deeper note, Hashem’s actual essence is above His own glory; suffice it for now to understand this).

Keep reviewing this mentally and verbally, that you are not alone, and that there is Someone who is with you at all times: Hashem. Keep reflecting about this until you can really sense that Hashem is indeed next to you at all times and in all places.

This kind of reflection requires a settled and tranquil mind, along with constant review in your mind of the concept, until the words are internalized in your heart.

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After a person has firmly established in his thoughts and heart that there are no other creations in the world, and that he is with Hashem alone, at all times, now the avodah is to reveal Hashem in the sense of “nochach”, to feel that He is opposite me; to feel towards Hashem that He is “Attah”, “You”, in first-person, as opposed to being hidden, “Hu”, “Him”, which is in the third-person.

This is acquired through mentally reflecting about it, and mainly through talking to Hashem in first-person, both mentally and verbally. This is not in the same way you daven. This is about talking about the very havayah of Hashem. One can say, “Ribono shel Olam, You are found with me, You are listening to me. There is no one on this world except me and You.” Say words like this which are in first-person to Hashem.

At first you will not actually feel that Hashem is in front of you, but when you keep being persistent with this and you keep talking to Hashem in the first-person – both mentally and verbally – if you keep doing this for a long time and you don’t give up, eventually you will feel that Hashem is found with you.

Obviously, this can only be worked once a person has already gotten used to the lifestyle of hisbodedus (solitude) that was explained earlier.

One should continue to practice this until it becomes a natural sense to him without having to think deeply into it, to the point where he senses Hashem no less real than how he has hands and feet; he doesn’t have to think about to know that they are with him. So too, one should keep thinking about this until it comes as a natural sense to him, where he doesn’t have to reflect about it deeply; where his neshamah feels it at all times.

If it happens that he stops thinking about it, he should immediately return his thoughts to sensing of how Hashem is next to Him at all times.

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After a person merits the level in which this understanding is firmly planted into his mind and heart – that Hashem is literally next to him at all times – now it is upon him to think deeply that not only is Hashem found next to him, but he is even found within him.

One should think about this a lot, with deep thought, and in silence, as above. He should review this mentally and verbally, saying, “You, Hashem, are found in my heart, in my mind, in my hand, in my entire being.” He should review it for hundreds and even thousands of times, mentally and verbally, until he literally feels it.

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After a person merits this level in which he really feels that Hashem is found within him, his avodah now is to feel that he is literally a cheilek eloka mimaal, a “portion of G-d above.” As opposed to understanding his relationship with Hashem as being two components coming together, he should now rise above this understanding and think that he is part and parcel with Hashem: “Cheilek eloka mimaal.”

This can be attained either through mental reflection as he goes step-by-step through the stages, or, he can reach it by simply having deep emunah in the concept.

The first method is a path that involves deep thought and reflection, in which a person goes deeper and deeper in his perception. To illustrate, a child is brought into the world through a droplet that came from the father’s brain; there was a thought to conceive him[3], but even deeper than this was the very desire to conceive him[4], which came before the thought. The first method, deep reflection, is like entering the thoughts of Hashem to create the world. The second method, in which one feels that he is “one” with Hashem, is like the entering the very will of Hashem to create the world (so to speak), which came even before His thoughts to create the world; so it is a deeper perspective.

The second method is reached through simply having deep emunah in the concept (that one is a cheilek eloka mimaal), and it does not involve deep reflection on how it can make sense. It is a higher method to use than the first method, but it is harder to reach, for it requires a tremendous amount of bittul (willingness to become nullified).

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Understand, that this [second and higher] method is essentially the level in which one attaches himself to the level of “Before creation.”

The creation in front of us is tangibly felt, but when one rises to this level of “Before creation” described here, he is connected to the dimension that came before all of [the physical and tangible] creation. One can attach himself to the state of Hashem’s thoughts to create the world, or to the state that came before that: Hashem’s will to create the world.

In order to merit this level, one needs a clean mind, for these matters cannot be physically sensed at all. It is entirely a comprehension reached through the depths of our neshamah. It is very, very subtle.

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Now understand, that all of these levels mentioned until now, are in relation to this world. Whether a person is thinking about Hashem’s thought to create the world or about His will to create the world, in either case, the person is thinking of how this relates to us as His creations.

But there is an even higher understanding than this: to connect oneself to the state of “achdus hapeshutah” (“the simple unification”), in which one doesn’t even think about how the higher reality relates to the created world.

This is above even the level of “Before creation”, because in “Before Creation” there is at least a contrast of before the creation with after the creation. But in the recognition of achdus hapeshutah, there is no contrast with our created world.

From this higher perspective, there is no creation at all, for it is a fully realized reality of the verse, “I am Hashem, and I do not change.” It is a reality in which it is fully recognized that that He is one and that His Name is one; with regards to past, present, and future.

This perspective reveals the level of negating the “I” entirely, for it is the absolute recognition of the words, “Ain Od Milvado” – that there is nothing besides for Hashem, simply put.[5]

In Conclusion

The matters here contain depth within depth. We have only touched upon the roots of these matters here, and it should be understood that each of the levels here can enable a person to reach new perspectives, with layer upon layer of understanding.