Fixing Your Water - 016 Desire For New Tastes

Desires From Fire-of-Wind-of-Water: The Need For Renewal

We will now continue with the help of Hashem and return to the point we are in middle of discussing: desires, which stem from wind-of-water. Currently, we are up to discussing the “fire” aspect of wind-of-water.

Water is generally the root of desire, while seeking pleasure is a kind of inner movement, and movement is the root of wind. Thus, seeking the pleasure of desire is a nature that stems from wind-of-water in the soul [in the nefesh habehaimis].

We have previously discussed desires that stem from earth, water and wind that all stem from wind-of-water. Now we will discuss desires which stem from the fire in wind-of-water.

Fire has many natures. It is dry (which gives it similarity to earth), it is illuminating (which makes it similar to water), it is jumpy (which makes it similar to wind), and it also has a nature to produce. Besides for the fact that fire is mainly defined by its destructive nature, fire can sprout into new flames, which shows us that fire can produce something new.

The other elements are recycled; earth returns to earth, water evaporates and returns back to the earth, and wind blows around, but fire is always being renewed. It is always being renewed, as soon as it ceases. Fire destroys something and then is enflamed even more after it destroys.

With regards to our soul and our current discussion of desires, there are desires which are constantly becoming renewed in the person. These desires thus stem from fire-of wind-of-earth.

There are people who had a gluttonous childhood, eating as much as they pleased. They were used to eating on certain foods, i.e. cholent and kugel on Shabbos, and they feel like they cannot part from such foods. They go their whole life enslaved to these ‘Shabbos’ treats. They have become so used to these foods because they are used to the pleasure in them. These are old pleasures, so these are not the desires that stem from “fire”, because they are not new.

What we are currently discussing are desires that are new to the person, and all of us can recognize this: “new” kinds of desires that keep coming out on the market. One who has a dominant amount of fire-of-wind-of-earth will feel a desire to constantly seek new kinds of tastes and desires that he hasn’t tried yet, and he feels this on a regular basis.

It is not simply that he tries out new pleasures when the opportunity comes to him; that wouldn’t be a problem (there are people who are afraid to try new things, and this is a problem). Rather, we are discussing a kind of person who seeks out new pleasures on a constant and regular basis.

This is stemming from a dominant amount of fire-of-wind-of-water in the soul: one who seeks renewal in all kinds of new pleasures. These people are getting their pleasure from the aspect of renewal in the desire.

For example, a person was used to eating specific foods in his childhood, and when he gets older, he looks for new kinds of foods that capture his interest. He might even look for various kinds of strange foods from other countries. He is looking for something new. He might pursue something that is small, as long as it is new and interesting; or he might something extreme, as long as is “new” to him.

Differentiating Between Fire-of-Water and Fire-of-Wind

Earlier, we spoke of the desire for food which stems from fire-of-water-of-water, which is also a desire for renewal, but it stems from “internal dryness” in the soul, so the person seeks new tastes. The dryness in the soul demands something new. People who always seek something new in the house to eat, this stems from inner emptiness – or internal dryness. That kind of desire makes a person jumpy from one desire to another, and it causes a person to skip from one desire to another. This is generally an evil kind of desire; people who have desires like this actually suffer from these desires.

Here in this chapter, we are speaking about the desire to eat for the sake of trying something new, which stems from a different aspect in the soul: fire-of-wind-of-water.

Part One of the Solution: Tasting Of The Shabbos Food

The people in the desert wanted the manna to taste like anything, and this shows us that people seek renewal. When this desire is used for holiness, it is to try new things; the Talmud Yerushalmi says that one has to give an accounting if he did not taste of foods. We are meant to taste foods, because our soul demands renewal.

However, that is only true when just tastes it. Once a person goes beyond taste and he is dragged after the food, this is evil, and earlier we addressed this. The manna tasted like anything, and that was fine. But if one wanted to get the feeling of a full stomach, this was not the purpose of the manna, and it is evil. The desire for taste stems from a holy place in the soul. When taste goes overboard, it becomes evil, and it becomes taavah, desire.

One needs to eat the right amount of the food and not overeat; that’s first of all. In addition, one should try tasting the Shabbos food – to taste it, and no more. Shabbos is the time where we are meant to use the soul’s power of taste But it is only holy when one just tastes of it and he doesn’t indulge in it; so that he doesn’t get carried away for the sake of his own pleasure.

The soul wants to taste because it demands renewal, so one can taste from all the foods on the Shabbos table – taste it, but not more than that.

The Prerequisite: “Chiddushei Torah” On Shabbos

When one tastes the Shabbos food, he should make sure that it is being done with intention to satisfy the need for taste. In this way, the desire doesn’t become a pursuit of renewal.

The Mishna Berura says that one should think of Chiddushei Torah on Shabbos. There is a power of chiddush (renewal) on Shabbos. If one learns Torah all the time but he doesn’t have any Chiddushim, he has no taste in his Torah learning, and this is a problem that needs to be solved.

Renewal shows that there is a taste and enjoyment in what one is doing. One whose main taste is in Chiddushei Torah satisfies his soul’s need for taste. Therefore, if one is just tasting the food on Shabbos but he isn’t striving to have Chiddushei Torah on Shabbos, it is as if he has a branch without a root.

So the proper way to satisfy taste is through Chiddushei Torah, and this channels the fire of wind-of-water in the soul in a proper direction. It gives a person constant joy, and for this reason, a Torah scholar is titled as “Shabbos”.

This is the holy way to use taste: striving to have Chiddushei Torah, mainly on Shabbos; and then one can taste of the Shabbos food.

When There Are Abnormal Eating Habits

The evil usage of taste is when one seeks renewal in their tastes, which comes from the nefesh habehaimis (the lower, animalistic part of the soul). These are people who are always looking for some new kind of pleasure.

This kind of person is never relaxed – it comes either from inner dryness in his soul[1], or because he has inner anxiousness. These people suffer a lot on this world; earlier, we addressed this kind of person. This is all stemming from a dominant amount of fire-of-wind-of-water.

Sometimes this kind of person will go to one place to eat, and another place to go to eat. If you know people like this, they are going all over the world to try all kinds of pleasures and comparing their experiences.

The people in the world who are mainly gluttonous are people who look all over the world for pleasure, on a regular basis. One who has a dominant amount of fire-of-wind-of-water is affected the most from gluttonous desire.

Most people do not have this problem; therefore, the words here are only meant for those who are dominated by fire-of-wind-of-water.

Growing Up With Unrestrained Desires

There are people who need to realize that this is their nature, even if they grew up in a frugal lifestyle where they didn’t have much food in their house. The only reason why they didn’t that eat much when they grew up was because the lifestyle of their home didn’t allow for that much food, but that doesn’t take away the nature to be gluttonous. It could very well be true that a person has a very gluttonous nature all along, which was merely suffocated until now due to his frugal upbringing.

What happens when a person with a gluttonous nature is unaware of his nature? When he gets older, he will feel a contradiction in himself: he was raised very frugally, yet he still has gluttonous eating habits.

The fact that he didn’t that much when was younger didn’t affect his soul, because it wasn’t done with any emphasis on spiritual growth and self-control. Rather, it was simply the way the person grew up, and his nature was merely suffocated until now, when he gets older, his true nature will emerge, and he will find that he is very much pulled after gluttony and pleasures with no training on having self-control.

Even if he was aware of his gluttonous nature (which is rare), he doesn’t know how to channel this nature towards holiness, and he will discover that he lives a contradiction: he was used to not pursuing pleasure when he was younger, but now that he has gotten older, he finds himself running after pleasures with no restraint.

Two Differing Paths of Our Gedolim Regarding Abstinence

We find that there were two differing paths in which our Gedolim conducted themselves with.

One path of our Gedolim follows the dictate of Chazal that “one should eat bread dipped in salt and drink water in a cistern, sleep on the ground, and live a life of suffering – this is the way of exertion in Torah study”. There were indeed Gedolim who were able to live their life like this.

There was another path in Avodas Hashem, a completely different way, which was also observed by our Gedolim. The Sage Rebbi Yehuda HaNassi (known as Rebbi) was extremely wealthy, and his table was always set with the finest of foods. Some commentators explained that this was because of the concept of royalty, and therefore his home had to look like a royal place, as befitting a king.

But the Raavad and others explained that it was because Rebbi utilized the power of “inner expansion” in the soul. What is the power of “inner expansion”?

There are two parts to it. A person is comprised of body and a soul; the body requires frugality in order to survive, but the soul actually requires expansiveness in order to feel satisfied. The soul on this world wants little to do with this world, but in its real place in Gan Eden, the soul needs expansiveness; it wants more and more spiritual light.

There were some individuals who possessed very high level souls, thus their souls required more expansiveness than thus usual. Thus, the Raavad and others wrote of a concept of smelling fragrant spices, which expands the soul.

However, we are discussing someone whose lower part of the soul demands expansiveness, which is a desire that comes from the nefesh habehaimis.

When a person merits to enjoy spiritual matters, such as his Torah learning, he enjoys spiritual renewal, which satisfies his higher soul, and this also calms even the nefesh habehaimis to a certain extent. However, even if a person merits to enjoy Torah chiddushim, if his nefesh habehaimis contains a dominant amount of fire-of-wind-of-water, he will not be calmed that much by the spiritual pleasure of Torah chiddushim, and he will require some physical pleasure.

The Solution To Abnormal Eating Habits

The solution for this is includes what we have explained above: that on Shabbos, he should strive to have Torah chiddushim, and in addition, he should taste each of the Shabbos foods on the table, as was explained earlier.

However, being that a person who is dominated by fire-of-wind-of-water struggles a lot with his gluttonous nature that he is used to, his element of desire is more powerful, so his mere aspirations of wishing to improve will not be enough to do the trick. It is wonderful that he is aspiring to improve himself, but one must also know his actual spiritual level very well, and he must be very self-aware and realize that he has a problem of self-control when it comes to his pursuit of new foods.

Therefore, practically speaking, only a few people can satisfy their need for taste and food through just tasting the Shabbos food, and trying to produce Chiddushei Torah on Shabbos is also not feasible for this kind person, as we mentioned. Therefore, most people will need more than these spiritual methods in order to satisfy their demand for pleasure that is coming from their nefesh habehaimis.

For Those Who Have The Money To Spend

If one feels that this is indeed the case, this is what he should do.

If he has plenty of money to spend, he should buy things that can minimally calm his physical need for renewal [such as candies, light treats, or new items for the house], and he should do this sensibly and not get carried away with these things, or else the whole solution will backfire on him. By giving in to small pleasures, he will be able to lessen his pursuit of worldly pleasures.

For Those Who Don’t Have The Money To Spend

Most people, though, simply do not have the money to spend so much on the pursuit of pleasures. Such people should try the following.

First of all, a person should try to lessen his pursuit of worldly pleasures and increase his spiritual pleasures. Secondly, the person should try to feed his need for renewal, by trying out small things that can give him some renewal.

For example, the Raavad writes that when one wants to calm his mind, he should eat something sweet.  Just taste it and no more. When you get used to this exercise of just tasting it and no more, you give yourself expansiveness and renewal.

These are subtle matters, so if one doesn’t know his soul well, he will deny his nature tasting something can calm him down. Most people, in fact, do not know their souls well, and even when they become aware of their nature, they tend to deny their actual feelings, perhaps because they feel that this concept goes against their mesorah (tradition), and they suppress themselves deeply as a result.

But if one knows how to work with his soul, and he has come to the conclusion that he is dominated by fire-of-wind-of-water, here is the solution. It is two-fold: On one hand, a person must try to come up with Torah chiddushim, especially on Shabbos, together with tasting of the Shabbos food.

In addition, we are saying that a person does need to calm his nefesh habehaimis somewhat. If one can afford it, he should spend money on things that can calm him down minimally – such as foods that he can taste of that will calm him - and this should obviously be done sensibly. If one doesn’t have that much money, one can try to give himself small amounts of renewal every here and there, either by tasting candies (and try different flavors), or small foods, or even to buy small new items for the home. All of these things provide a degree of renewal and expand the soul, which satisfies the soul’s demand for pleasure.

Understandably, if a person just practices the second part of the solution and he doesn’t do the first part (chiddushim), he lives a life entirely through his nefesh habehaimis, which is a life devoid of spirituality.

In Conclusion

Most people will find these concept strange, because most people have never heard of the concept of inner expansiveness that the Raavad wrote about.

People usually identify with frugality, perhaps feeling that “This is the mesorah (tradition)!”, and that trying to expand the soul would be veering from “the mesorah”. But this erroneous perception really comes from a lack of self-awareness about the soul. When one lives with proper self-awareness, he recognizes that he needs to work with his soul.

These matters should be practiced sensibly and within proper limits, because it is a matter that is only effective when practiced with proper limitations.