Tefillah - 049 Reaching Your Uniqueness

 וקדושים כל יום יהללוך סלה   “And the holy ones praise You, every day, selah.”

The Sages state that if someone says Halel every day, he is really a blasphemer. If so, why do we say Halel at all? How can it be that “the holy ones praise You every day” [when we say Pesukei D’Zimra] when Chazal disparage one from saying Halel every day?

It depends on what kind of Halel it is. We say the Halel on Yom Tov, and this is called Halel HaGadol. If someone says this Halel every day, of this kind of person Chazal said that he is a blasphemer. If someone merely praises Hashem every day in Pesukei D’Zimra, however, this is not Halel HaGadol, so he is not called a blasphemer. Thus, “the holy ones praise You every day”, with Pesukei D’Zimra.

Pesukei D’Zimra – Your Personal Song

What is the difference between Halel and Pesukei D’Zimra? The Halel was say on Yom Tov is about the great miracles that the Jewish people experienced, which is the theme of each of the festivals. The Halel HaGadol represents a miracle which the masses experience. But the Halel we say every day of Pesukei D’Zimra is a personal song that one sings over his particular situation in life. Pesukei D’Zimra represents a Halel that emanates from your own personal soul.

Reaching Your Holiness - As An Individual

We have two roles in our Avodah – a collective role, and an individual role. We are each a part of the Jewish people, and thus we sing over the miracles that the entire Jewish people went though. We also each have our own individual role in the Jewish people.

Our ‘individual’ role has two aspects. The external aspect of it is that we all see different details in our life which we need to sing about to Hashem and praise Him for. We sing over the various details of our own personal life that have to do with the different things that we see going on in our life. This is just the external aspect of our individuality.

But the inner aspect of our individuality is that we all think differently – as the Sages say, “Just as all faces are different, so are all opinions are different”. Each soul has a unique perspective. For example, each of us has a different way on how to learn the same words of the Gemara, Rashi and Tosafos. When a person is superficial, he is drawn to think like those around him, and he doesn’t uncover his own original thinking. But each person is supposed to uncover his own unique way of thinking, and not to limit himself to how others think.

Even more so, each soul contains one point which another person does not have. When two people learn the Gemara, they are each learning it differently. It appears that they are both learning the same words. When someone sees two people learning, he can’t tell the difference between them; after all, they are both learning the same words of Gemara. But the truth is that each person is totally unique, and therefore, each of them understands the Gemara in a different way.

Chazal state that “Hashem created man as an individual”. This is not just to say that each of us has one particular quality, like what we understand from the halacha that in order to honor our parents, we have to look for a particular quality that our parents possess. It is more than that.

The “Kodesh Kodashim Within”

Each person has his own personal Kodesh Kodashim (Holy of Holies) within himself, as the sefer Nefesh HaChaim writes. In the Kodesh Kodashim, the Kohen Gadol had to be alone. This is hinting to the point of “alone” in the soul, how each person has an individuality that no one else has, and in that aspect, he is alone. The Kohen Gadol was alone in the Kodesh Kodashim because no one was allowed to be there except for him. The deeper meaning of this is because each person is alone in his individuality, and nobody else can do what he does.

(We are not referring to the trait of gaavah\arrogance, chas v’shalom, but to how each person has an individual role.)

If a person never enters his individuality, then even if he separates from the world and acts holy, it doesn’t stem from his individuality. He will do the right thing only because others do so, but not because he has reached it from within himself. It is not real holiness for one to separate from evil influences if he hasn’t reached this understanding from his own individuality.

The Kodesh HaKodashim refers to the room in which each person enters this holiness as an individual. The room before the Kodesh Kodashim was the Kodesh (the Holy Chamber); the Kodesh was allowed to be entered by any Kohen, but the Kodesh Kodashim was only allowed to be entered by the Kohen Gadol alone on Yom Kippur. The two rooms represent two levels of holiness.

The Kodesh represents holiness that all people can reach. We find a general kind of holiness in the world, in which people seek to be holy, but only because they are affected by a society that behaves with holiness. This is not yet the inner kind of holiness, because it is a kind of holiness that results from being influenced by others, thus it is superficial. It is commendable of course, but it is not yet the deep kind of holiness that a person can reach.

The Kodesh HaKodashim is the room of holiness within holiness, as its name implies. It represents how a person can uncover his own, individual holiness. To separate from materialism is a degree of holiness, but it is not yet the true holiness. True holiness is reached when a person reaches his own, personal holiness – when he feels “alone” from the world [and ‘alone’ with Hashem] when he reaches holiness on his own individual level.

The Power of ‘Alone’

How can a person reach it? It is when a person understands that he has an individual role in the Jewish people.

If a person just does cheshbon hanefesh (self-accounting) when he’s alone, this is wonderful, but it is still a superficial kind of “alone”. The real “alone” in the soul is when a person realizes how he is an individual, how he has an individual role in the Jewish people. This is the true holiness, the personal Kodesh HaKodashim within one’s soul.

A person needs to search for this inner kind of holiness. It takes great effort for one to reach his individuality.

Our inner world is not just another ‘kneitch’ (Yiddish for ‘interesting point’) about life. It is who we truly are – our very reality. As Chazal say, “If I am not for myself, than who will be for me?” If a person doesn’t uncover his own individuality, even if he tries to become holy, it will be way above his level, because he hasn’t reached it from within himself.

This is the true and inner way to survive society these days.

Getting In Touch With Your Point of ‘Lishmah’

This is essentially about reaching our point of lishmah (purity) in the soul, to expand our inner point of purity. It makes one’s Torah learning into a Toras Emes, a Torah of truth.

A person might learn Torah for many years and be very immersed in it in-depth, but he can be very far from the true Torah. Without uncovering lishmah, a person never reaches his own individuality in Torah. (The Rosh says that learning Torah lishmah is to learn for the sake of Torah). If a person just learns shelo lishmah his whole life, he will get reward for his learning, but he will never reach his part in Torah. He will never get to his individuality in Torah; he will never realize that his true “I” is the unique part of Torah that is meant for him.

Crying To Hashem About This

A person should cry to Hashem for this, that he merit to find his individuality – his unique part in the Torah that is designated for him. This should not be done superficially.

If a person merits it, he will merit to feel the words of the Chazon Ish, that one’s intellect can revel in the pleasure of Torah.

We are in a world which is like a giant flood of confusion. If a person reaches his individual role in spirituality, he can survive the “flood” that’s going on. This is the true kind of holiness: to be truly apart from society.

In Conclusion

וקדושים בכל יום יהללוך סלה- “And the holy ones praise You, every day” – this is referring to one who praises Hashem from within his own personal ‘Kodesh Kodashim’.