Fixing Your Water - 020 Desire For Competition

Fire-of-Fire-of-Water: Desires For War\Challenges

Let us continue here with the help of Hashem to discuss the trait of desire. We are up to discussing desires that stem from fire-of-fire-of-water.

We mentioned earlier that this is a kind of desire for wars and challenges. There are a few reasons why a person desires a challenge, but whatever the exact cause is, deriving pleasure from a challenge is always stemming from the ‘fire’ aspect of fire-of-water in the soul.

Rav Chaim Vital writes in Shaarei Kedushah that the element of water is the root of desiring pleasure, and the traits which result from this are jealousy (kinah) and envy (chemdah).

Envy (chemdah) means to desire something which isn’t yours, such as being envious of another’s wife or home. Envy can also be a desire for something you don’t own; it can even be towards something which is ownerless.

Jealousy (kinah) is a different result of desire; it is to be envious of something which belongs to another, when it is currently in the possession of another.

There are two kinds of jealousy. One kind of jealousy is when a person wants something that another has and he doesn’t want the other person to have it. Another scenario of jealousy is that a person wants something that another has and he is fine if the other person has it too, as long as he has it. In another scenario of jealousy, a person wants to be the sole owner of something.

If a person is jealous of another, yet he is fine if the other person has what he wants, this is permitted jealousy, and it is called Kinas Sofrim (desire of scholars)[1]. The negative kind of jealousy is when a person is jealous of another and he doesn’t want the other to have what he wants.

Thus, the kind of jealousy we are discussing is rooted in desire. In the second kind of jealousy, a person is being destructive to another because of his jealousy, for he doesn’t want the other to have what he wants; this kind of jealousy is rooted in fire, because the nature of fire is to be destructive.

But when a person is jealous of something because he desires it, and he is fine if the other person has it too, such jealousy is a desire rooted in the element of water.(On a more subtle note, though, all jealousy implies that the person doesn’t want the other to have it.)

Let’s explore more deeply into these kinds of jealousy.

The Desire For Competitiveness

Often, children act competitive with each other, and we can also see adults who act competitive with each other. Where does the nature of competitiveness come from?

Sometimes it can stem from the trait of jealousy which each person can have, or, it can come from being raised in a competitive kind of environment in which he was encouraged to have Kinas Sofrim.

When one is jealous of something simply because he wants it, this is a kind of desire. But when one is competitive with another, he will feel a desire to harm another in the process of getting what he wants, and this comes from fire in the soul. It appears simply like a desire for something, and therefore, the person will harm another who gets in his way.

But the deeper way to understand it is that the person derives pleasure from the very challenge and competitiveness with another; it is not simply out of a desire to obtain what he wants.

The desire of jealousy simply appears to be “I want something for myself”, which makes it seem like any other kind of desire; but it is really a pleasure derived from being competitive with another.

Anyone can recognize the competitiveness in our world today, in which people are not only pursuing their goals, but they are enjoying knocking down others in the process. The ‘goal’ aspect is another factor of the desire, but the main joy they are having is being derived from the satisfying feeling of knocking others down in the process.

As an example, many people love to engage their time in competing with others in sport-like events, and they derive joy from the very challenge with others.

It’s possible that a person is competitive with another even if the other is not aware of the competition. This nature usually manifests either as a result of a person’s upbringing to be competitive, or you can see it in the many people of the world who love to engage in competitions with others, and they will spend a lot of their time in trying to defeat others.

Desire is not an evil trait by essence, because as we know, every trait can be used for either good or evil. With a dominance of fire-of-fire-of-water in the soul, however, a whole new kind of evil is awakened in the person. When a person wants to be competitive with another, he enjoys being in a challenge with another, and that means he will step on another and hurt another in order to get what he wants. This is clearly the classical example of what it means to have bad middos, and nothing good can be said about it.

At its worst level, this nature of competitiveness is called “loimed al menas l’kanter”, one who learns Torah in order to fight with others, of which Chazal say that “it’s better had he not been born”. The desire for competitiveness will cause a person to chop down others who gets in his way.

Desire comes from water, and competitiveness comes from fire, and water and fire contradict each other, yet that is the depth of this evil desire, in which a person engages in a contradictory kind of force.

There are even people, Rachmana Litzlan, who are full of inner turmoil in themselves, and they derive enjoyment from their own inner contradictions; that’s how they deal with their internal anxiety. But usually, most people turn their competitiveness outwardly, towards others, and they enjoy the very competition with others.

If you know about the wars fought in history, you’ll discover that in all of these wars, both sides were mainly interested in the competition itself. Even when people fight to protect their boundaries or because they wanted something, their main joy was derived from the very fight itself. Hundreds and thousands of people are prepared to die in war, all because they are enjoying the satisfying feeling of knocking others down.

Challenges That Are Holy

The truth is that competition with others is inevitable. We have to know how to use this ability properly. The issue is if we are using it properly or not: If we are being competitive with others in order to bring others down and feel victorious, or if we can just do what we have to do without trying to bring another down.

To illustrate, the Gemara says that if a father and son or a teacher and student engage in learning Torah together, at first they become like enemies to each other as they argue with each other (and this is the way it should be, because the Gemara says that one should learn with a chavrusa, and not learn alone; this is not a coincidence, for it is the preferred method of learning), and in the end, they love each other. In other words, there is a good-natured and friendly kind of competitiveness when people learn Torah with each other, and this is the way it should be.

Our understanding in Torah can only come to us when we learn with a chavrusa. But this will involve some feeling of competition that comes along with it. We need to know how we should approach this reality.

In a situation where a person is learning alone, for whatever reason (and indeed, the Ramchal says that every person should have a little time each day where he learns with just himself[2]), although he won’t face competition with a chavrusa, he will still encounter contradictions and questions in his learning, so there is no way to avoid the idea of opposition in our Torah learning. Therefore, he will still have to know how to deal with them, when they inevitably come.

If a person just learns superficially, his mind is working, but his heart is not in it, so he although he will be aware intellectually that there are questions and contradictions, the questions he encounters in his learning don’t bother him. But when a person is alive from his learning, the contradictions in his learning that he encounters really bother him, and he feels like his own self is being contradicted. The soul grapples with dealing with the contradiction.

Usually, a person like this who encounters contradictions in his learning [in Gemara and in Tosafos], will be really bothered by it. Either his mind will be logically bothered, or his heart deep down will feel unease, at the contradictions he comes across.

A large amount of people are dealing all day with the power of opposition, and they enjoy the feeling of being opposed. Here is an example of the concept: There are people who like very spicy foods. The inner reason for this is because the person enjoys dealing with such a challenge! It’s a kind of contradiction that one can deal with, and there is a certain enjoyment derived from this.

There are many more examples as well we can give that illustrate the concept.

External and Inner Pleasure of The Soul

Now we will say the following very deep point: it is the external layer of our soul that enjoys oppositions and contradictions, while the inner layer of our soul which enjoys it when things are kept simple and calm.

In terms of the elements of the soul, the inner layer of the soul enjoys water-of-water, which flows continuously and calmly; the external layer of the soul enjoys fire-of-water, which is the nature to enjoy opposition, challenge, competition, and contradictions.

Thus, a person should try to reflect deeply into himself and ask himself what he mainly enjoys in life: Does he mainly enjoy it when things are flowing smoothly and the situation is calm, or does he mainly like it when there is something unpredictable and challenging going on?

A healthy soul enjoys it when things are going smoothly and all is calm and well. This is because the inner nature of the soul enjoys calmness, and it recoils from opposition.

If a person has a destructive nature – when his fire-of-water-of-water is very dominant - this is a clearly evil trait; he will derive his main vitality in life from being competitive with others. Of such people, Chazal say that “it is better had he not been born”.[3] On a deeper note, such a person is really destroying himself through his own destructive nature.

The Ramchal writes in Mesillas Yesharim that “nothing is sweeter than revenge”. This is not an exaggeration, as we know that the Ramchal was very precise with his words. Why indeed is revenge so enjoyable to a person? It is because the soul enjoys the very competitiveness, not the goal of what the person was trying to get. The enjoyable part is the other person has been harmed, and when this desire becomes actualized, it is the feeling of revenge.

However, as we are explaining, it is only the external layer of the soul which enjoys the ideas of competition, opposition, and ‘sweet revenge’. In fact, it is the totally external and superficial part of the soul.

In the future, at the very end of the End of Days, Hashem will take revenge against the other nations. Because we are very close to the End of Days, there is a dominant power of revenge which is becoming manifest in Creation - but it is being used in the wrong place and for the wrong reasons. For this reason, “revenge is sweet.” A person might be aware of this consciously, but even if he’s not consciously aware of it, he still be enjoying it subconsciously.

Revenge is a dramatic example of this emotion, but even if one doesn’t come to take revenge, he still has a nature to enjoy bringing others down. Every person is familiar with this feeling. If one allows this desire to go unfixed, his own destructive nature will get out of hand and it will eventually ‘destroy’ his own life.

As we explained, it is only the external layer of the soul which enjoys revenge and competitiveness with others. The inner layer of the soul, however, derives enjoyment when things are flowing along as they should, when there is simplicity, and not when there are any kinds of contradictions going on. It enjoys being reminded of emunah (belief and faith in Hashem); it enjoys the ‘regular flow’ of things, when things are calm.

When a person lives a very physical kind of orientation, he mainly enjoys feelings of revenge. When he reveals his soul more, his source of enjoyment changes: he will only enjoy a situation in which things are flowing along with simplicity, and he will recoil from situations that are unpredictable that involve challenge with others.  

Thus, every person needs to become aware of these two sources of pleasure in himself: the pleasure in defeating others, and the pleasure in simple calmness. Then, he needs to ask himself which of these pleasures he mainly enjoys in his life.

Here is an example: a person is reading Sefer Tehillim, and he reads about the wars that Dovid HaMelech fought. What is he mainly enjoying as he says these words? Is he enjoying the fact that Dovid won all these wars, or he is mainly enjoying the more calming parts of Tehillim? When you deeply reflect, you can feel how the matters described in Tehillim really envelope your entire soul. There are ‘wars’ in your life, and there is also calmness in your life. Ask yourself which of these aspects you enjoy more.

If one becomes aware that he mainly enjoying war and strife in his life, he needs to separate from these superficial kinds of emotional pleasure, and instead try to begin tasting internal kinds of emotional pleasure, by focusing on matters of simplicity and by deriving enjoyment from them.

This doesn’t mean that one should stop arguing with his chavrusa when he is learning. He should just try not to argue with his chavrusa for the sake of trying to defeat him.

The Negativity We Find Ourselves In Today

When it comes to our Torah learning, we encounter contradictions and questions. [We have already explained that the perspective towards this should be, that although questions and contradictions are an inevitable part of our life that we run into (and certainly when we learn Torah it is this way), still, our main enjoyment should not be derived from situations of question and opposition, rather from situations in which things are kept calm and simple.]

As we discuss this concept, we should also be aware of the following. In our current times, there is a lot of machlokes (dissension) today, lots of “Daas Torah” issues, and so forth. Dwelling on all of these issues - and deriving vitality from them - causes the soul to mainly get enjoyment in life from all of these negative kinds of thoughts.

Most people in the generation are mainly getting enjoyment when they reflect into these negative situations. It could even be that as a person is speaking about the “Torah perspective” on a certain situation, he’s getting vitality from a sweet feeling of knocking down others, and this is an unhealthy source of vitality. When he comes upstairs after 120, and he did many mitzvos and spread a lot of Torah knowledge and he always made sure to speak against wicked people, they will tell him in Heaven that his intentions were all for the sake of knocking down other people….

When a person discovers himself enjoying revenge, even if it’s within his Torah learning or if it pertains to speaking negatively about situations of the world (even if it’s a true perspective), still, he is running away from his inner place of in his soul of simplicity, and he is involving himself in the outer layer of his soul, which enjoys strife.

How To Derive Pleasure From Simplicity

In order to access your inner place of pure simplicity, you can take a possuk or statement of Chazal that awakens your temimus (earnestness) and peshitus (simplicity), and repeat the words simply, or you can contemplate it simply. Be consciously focused on trying to awaken your temimus and peshitus as you do so.

The more you get used to this, the more you will feel yourself deriving enjoyment from the simplicity of it, and it will calm you down from all the negativity going on in the world that you hear about.

The Situation of Strife In Today’s Times

If one doesn’t know how to derive pleasure from temimus and peshitus – and indeed, most of the world right now is like this, steeped very deep into the fire-of-fire-of-water in their souls – then even if he learns all day is in a yeshiva or Kolel, he is being enveloped by a pleasure in negativity.

The inner light of Torah is hidden deep in the soul, and one cannot access the light of Torah if he mainly derives enjoyment from negativity (even if those negative thoughts are true “Torah perspectives” about current events). This is the meaning of how “Torah comes from Eretz Yisrael” – the source of Torah comes from a place which is pure, innocent and strife-free.

In the generation today, the dissension going on today has reached its greatest depths of evil; it is the depths of the evil ‘50^thGate of Impurity’!  On the second day of Creation, the idea of strife was created (because Hashem separated the upper waters from the lower waters), and Gehinnom was also created then; the connection is, that the ideas of strife and Gehinnom are interconnected. Gehinnom is fire, and strife came from the separation of the waters; when this fire and water are combined, there is fire-of-fire-of-water - a desire for strife.

In the End of Days, there is strife everywhere; nothing is untouched by strife. In the future Hashem will be One and that oneness will put an end to all the disparity, but until then, there is much disparity, and it only increases.

There are people whose entire lives are centered around strife and controversy with others, as if it’s the greatest mitzvah in the Torah. This is all because the world right now is deep into the fire-of-fire-of-water, otherwise known as machlokes\strife. And since the entire Creation is right now steeped in it, the generation derives vitality from it (whether a person is consciously aware of this or not), and this is a negative kind of vitality.

Surviving The Negativity of This World

In order to rectify this very deep kind of problem that envelopes us right now, we need to go in the opposite direction.

We need to learn how to derive vitality from our inner simplicity, to connect ourselves to the simple belief in Hashem, to connect ourselves to the Torah, which is called “Toras Hashem Temimah”.

Of course, when we learn Torah, we see that there are contradictions in what we learn, in the words of Abaye and Rava, and when we have to argue in learning with others. But if we make sure to connect ourselves to our inner simplicity in our soul, we will gain a wonderful balance in our soul, of both pleasure from simplicity as well from the contradictions and arguing we encounter in the words of Torah we learn, and the balance of these two acts together will provide us with true and inner vitality.

Without gaining vitality from simplicity, it will be impossible to survive this current world (at least in this current lifetime we are in).

It used to be that there were a few issues of machlokes, but today, each person struggles with all kinds of machlokes: “What type am I? What type of shidduch is for me?” There are always two sides in whatever situation we face today. We are inevitably forced into these kinds of situations. How can we deal with the challenges? How do we make sure to be above all the pettiness we go through?

The answer is: if you derive vitality from an inner source in yourself, the place of simplicity (temimus, or peshitus) in yourself – and if you make sure to make it into your main source of enjoyment – you will have a chance of surviving all the strife (or at least some of it) that surrounds you.

So one needs to enjoy simplicity, as well as to derive enjoyment from the contradictions he comes across in his Torah learning, and together, with the balance of these two abilities, a person will be able to deal with all the competitiveness and challenges he has to deal with inevitably on this world. He will be able to pass through them, back and forth, and be guarded by his power of temimus\peshitus.

This is actually a deep spiritual light which Hashem has given us to be able to survive and protect ourselves as we are in this dark exile; the light of our peshitus\temimus can shine away all the darkness of exile we face, and this inner light we contain in ourselves is the power that can help us truly bind ourselves with Hashem and survive the dark times of machlokes\strife that now envelopes our people.