Tefillah - 144 Always Serving Hashem

“Tamid” – Being Constant: Are We Really Able To Serve Hashem Constantly?

ותהי לרצון תמיד עבודת ישראל עמך - "And may it constantly be desirable [by You] the service of Yisrael your nation.” We ask Hashem that our avodah always be desirable to Him.

If our avodah is always perfect, there would be no reason to ask Hashem that it be desirable. However, being that the way that Hashem made the world is that nothing ever stays the same, we therefore have to daven to Hashem special that our avodah should be desirable to Him.

We never stay the same. Your avodah yesterday is not the same avodah you do today. Similarly, Chazal say that no tefillah is the same as another.

Therefore, because there are always changes in our Avodas Hashem, we have to daven to Hashem special that it should be a constant kind of avodah [and thus become desirable to Him].

We Are Always Changing – Because We Are Always In Movement

There are always changes happening to our soul; we never stay in the same state. There are several reasons for this. One reason is because we have free will to choose between good and evil, therefore, we are either elevating ourselves or we are going down. There are times of change to us because of our free will, thus, our avodah is never the same each day.

But the deeper way to understand it is that there is nothing in Creation which stays the same, especially our soul. All of Creation is always in movement. The earth moves, the planets are moving, time moves, and souls move as well. Our soul is always moving. So it’s not possible that our avodah be constantly the same every day.

As an example, the halacha is that even on Shabbos when we cannot carry, one can carry within daled amos (four cubits) in a public domain, (min HaTorah)[1], so we see that even with the same “space”, there is always some degree of movement going on.

Our avodah never stays the same, because we are always in movement.

Ups and Downs In Avodas Hashem

Even more so, Sefer HaYashar of Rabbeinu Tam writes that every person has “Days of Love” and “Days of Hate” – “good” periods and “bad” periods. Our “Days of Love” are when we feel like we can think clearly and we feel that our hearts are open, and we feel full of energy, inspiration, and enthusiasm. “Days of Hate” are when our minds feel clogged, and we feel like we have no feelings, and we get lazy and lethargic. (Of course, each person experiences different levels of this. Sometimes a person experiences all of these symptoms, and sometimes it’s only some of them; it depends on each person.)

So when it comes to our level of ruchniyus, we never stay the same. There are periods when we are flying high in our ruchniyus, and there are times when we are down in the dumps. Chazal also call it the periods of “gadlus hamochin” (mature state of mind) and katnus hamochin (immature state of mind). So we are always changing and moving, either growing or falling in our ruchniyus, and therefore, our avodah is never constant.

How Your Free Will Affects Your ‘Days of Love’ and ‘Days of Hate’

Even more so, our Rabbis explain that sometimes we are found in “Days of Love” and “Days of Hate” either because we are always in movement, or because it’s due to how we are using our power of bechirah, free will.

Meaning, sometimes we are growing in our ruchniyus because we are making the right choices and utilizing our bechirah for good, and that would mean that if we are going through a rough time in our ruchniyus, it is because we are misusing our bechirah.

When “Days of Hate” Are A Decree of Heaven

And in addition, our Rabbis write that sometimes, we are found in “Days of Hate” not because of the cycle of ups and downs that we all go through (which are also called “rotzoh v’shov”), and not because of anything to do with our free will - but simply because Heaven has decreed upon the person, for whatever reason, that it is necessary for him to go through a dismal time.

This can be for many reasons – either’s because it’s ultimately for his own good, for another’s good, etc. There are many reasons that Hashem can have which we will never know, of why a person has to undergo a spiritual fall. This is a different kind of period than the usual kind of “Days of Hate”.

Clarifying Why You Are Going Through “Days of Hate”

This is a deep matter for one to personally clarify to himself: when one is going through a period of “Days of Hate”, there are three possible reasons why it can be happening, as we explained:

1) Either it is are due to the fact that are always in movement and therefore we are always in a cycle of ups and downs in our ruchniyus; this is called “rotzoh v’shov”, (“running and returning”), the man is always in a cycle of progressing and retreating from progress;

2) Or, a person might be going through “Days of Hate” due to a bad choice he made in ruchniyus.

3) Or, [if it is none of the above reasons], it can be because it is a decree from Heaven upon him that he needs to go through some kind of spiritual descent, which will ultimately be for his benefit.

So one needs to try to figure out why he’s going through the dismal period in his spirituality and ask himself if it’s due to the cycle of ups or downs in Avodas Hashem, or if it’s because of his free will, and if none of the above, it must be a decree from Heaven that he go through it.

Imbalances In Our Soul

However, besides for the above three reasons given, there is another major reason why people are met with disappointment and frustration as they try to serve Hashem in a consistent manner - and this is why our avodah to Hashem is often not “tamid” (constant).

In deeper and clearer terms, the soul of man[2], as Rav Chaim Vital writes, consists of the four elements: fire, wind, water and earth. Most people are unbalanced in their elements and therefore experience extremes in their personality. When the soul’s elements are imbalanced, one of the elements will dominate in an extreme way. Each person experiences different “explosions” in his soul from time to time, due to this lack of balance.

A few people – only a few - are somewhat balanced when it comes to certain areas of life. They are born with a sense of stability in their life and they know how to keep their soul elements restrained from getting too dominant. This kind of person has it easier when it comes to serving Hashem and therefore he can always serve Hashem on a continual basis, in the path he sets for himself, because he has a natural inner stability which he gauges himself with.

But most people are imbalanced in their souls, and therefore, most people are not capable of always serving Hashem in a consistent manner, and thus their avodah changes every day.

So there are a few people are balanced in their nature, either because they are born like that or because they have worked on themselves, and they can serve Hashem in an organized manner which they set for themselves. But even those rare people are only scot-free from imbalances in their soul so long as they aren’t tested in life. Once a person has tests and he is put into situations in life which really test him, the balance of the soul can become impaired, and then it becomes harder for the person to serve Hashem in a continuous and organized manner.

How To Balance Your Soul

Let’s understand the following deep matter.

The four elements, when balanced, enable a person to be stable. Each of the elements can help a person serve Hashem in a stable manner.

As we mentioned before, we can get thrown out of balance in our Avodas Hashem when we go through ups and downs, or because we made a bad choice in our free will, or because it’s simply a decree of Heaven on us that we go through a dismal time. But besides for these factors (which a person indeed must know well to determine of why he’s going through a rough time in his ruchniyus), there is usually another reason why we get thrown off balance: an imbalance in the soul.

One of the middos in the soul is usually extreme and causing an imbalance. But every person can find the element that will balance him out - and then he’ll have a much easier chance at serving Hashem in a constant manner.

Earth: Stability

The element of earth, when it is imbalanced, causes laziness. Laziness is the total antithesis of constant Avodas Hashem. Inner heaviness and sadness as well slow a person down and also disable a person from being constant in his Avodas Hashem. But when one reveals his holy kind of earth – holy stubbornness, which brings a person to success, as the Vilna Gaon writes – he can remain stable, like firm earth which can remain tough. He will be able to have stability and consistency in his Avodas Hashem.

Thus, if someone has a strong amount of earth in himself and he rectifies it, he reveals the power of holy stubbornness, and he will be able to constantly serving Hashem.

Water: Pleasure

If one’s main element is water, he is mainly drawn towards pleasure, as Rav Chaim Vital writes. He can awaken his holy kind of water by revealing a pleasure in ruchniyus. Either he can awaken in himself a thirst for spiritual pleasure, or he can awaken in himself a desire to seek spiritual pleasure, which will push him very far after ruchniyus. (If he is not that ‘thirsty’, though, he won’t be able to push himself that far). This will enable him to constantly serve Hashem, because the pleasure of ruchniyus will pull him after it.

Usually, in the beginning of one’s Avodas Hashem, there is little pleasure, but if someone has a strong amount of water in his soul, he can awaken in himself the holy side to his water and reveal a thirst for ruchniyus, which will pull him very far after ruchniyus.

Of course, a person has free will of how he will use his element of water for pleasure. But it contains a key for spiritual improvement.

Wind: Movement

If a person has a strong amount of wind in himself, he is mainly drawn towards movement. Such a person can demand more movement towards spiritual growth.

Many people are always involved in action, and they have no calmness in their life as a result. In fact, even if someone is always doing chessed, it’s not always coming from a deep desire for chessed, but simply because he likes action - a desire that comes from the nefesh habehaimis. But when a person knows how to direct his wind for spiritual movement, he will be able to constantly serve Hashem and push himself very far with his desire for movement.

Fire: Ascension

If someone has a strong amount of fire, he is drawn towards ascension. The holy side to fire is that one can use his fire to ‘destroy’ any impediments that gets in his way, and thus to be able to constantly climb higher in ruchniyus. One can awaken his fire and be able to constantly serve Hashem in this manner.

In Summary

Thus, if one wishes to serve Hashem on a continual basis, first, he should clarify if his obstacles in his path are either because of a period of “Days of Hate”, or if it’s due to his own free will, or if it is due to a decree of Heaven. [This is indeed challenging for a person to know, and it is a necessary step which one needs to traverse]. But in addition to this, one needs to awaken his dominant element of the soul[3] and channel it to holiness. This works with the root of the problems and treats the problems at their ‘root’, as opposed to focusing on the ‘results’ and ‘branches’ of the problem.

Getting In Touch With The Soul’s Elements

When a person is younger, he has more energy, but as a person gets older and he matures, his nefesh habehaimis becomes more lethargic, and he feels weaker when it comes to his spiritual energies. (A few people, though, have a sense of inner balance, as we explained earlier). But when a person is a bar daas (mature thinking person), instead of simply resolving every day to improve, he makes sure to get in touch with his dominant element of his soul and utilize it, which can help him go far.

Thus, each person needs to clarify which element of the soul can push him far and enable him to always serve Hashem, as opposed to just seeking each day how he can inspire himself on a temporary basis.

Understandably, one who is not a bar daas approaches his Avodas Hashem as grabbing spiritual levels here and there. He never clarifies to himself which soul element he needs to use to help him go far.

When one gets in touch with his strongest element and he awakens it, he will have a firm power to withstand all the various tests he goes through. And this will give a person the ability to be close to serving Hashem on a constant basis - an avodah that is “tamid”, constant.

The Next Step In Avodas Hashem: Natural Desire For Spiritual Growth

However, we must also know that life is much deeper than all of this. What we said until now is all about the external layer of life. It is important to know about it, but it’s only the first step. All of our Gedolim traversed this first step in order to work on themselves every day, but, it’s only the first step.

As a person works on this first stage, it takes time, and each person takes a different amount of time. It depends on how hard you work as well as on when Hashem decides to give you gifted levels of ruchniyus. There’s no given time when you will achieve success in ruchniyus.

But after you’ve gone through the first stage and you’re able to remain stable and constantly serve Hashem (and again, you must first make sure that you’re not in a spiritual descent either due to your free will or because it’s “Days of Hate” or because it’s a decree of Heaven), and you have become purified from materialism of this world (and you make sure to “call out to Hashem in truth” as well), a whole new depth in your soul will become opened to you: you will uncover a kind of inner push in yourself that constantly motivates you.

Graduating From ‘Nefesh HaBehaimis’ To ‘Nefesh Elokis’

Man consists of body and soul. Until now, we addressed not only how to give stability to the physical body (the guf), but also to the nefesh habehaimis (the “animal” part of the soul - the baser part of the soul), which is in close proximity to the body. (Chazal also call the nefesh habehaimis as shitufa d’gufa, “a partner with the body”).

After you’ve traversed the first stage we described here [which essentially purifies your nefesh habehaimis], your Nefesh Elokis (G-dly soul) becomes opened up to you; it is an inner source of vitality in you which enables you to perform a whole new level of Avodas Hashem.

Until this point, we explained how one serves Hashem on the level of a purified guf\nefesh habehaimis (either through making use of your spiritual earth, water, wind or fire), but when you penetrate into your true inner world of the soul, you reveal your deep spiritual power, which gives a whole new meaning to your Avodas Hashem.

This doesn’t mean, of course, you will no longer have free will once you are there. You will still have bechirah (free will), but your free will here will receive a whole new depth to it. Instead of constantly choosing between good and evil, you will always feel that you need to choose serving Hashem.

All of the Gedolim who worked on themselves did not just work on their nefesh habehaimis. This is because the nefesh habehaimis really cannot withstand spiritual difficulties for that long.

Even if one merited to enter his inner world, he is likely to recede from it. In fact, most people who begin to start entering their inner world immediately pull back, afraid to go further within.

If a person didn’t merit to reach his inner world, either it’s because he didn’t work hard enough to get there, or it’s because he never opened up his heart yet to feel Hashem’s existence.

How in fact did all our Gedolim reach their great spiritual stamina? It is because as the Chazon Ish writes, a “new gate” opens up in a person after he truly exerts himself in Torah, whereupon he can experience an intellectual bliss that is endless. This was said regarding learning Torah, but it can also be experienced as an inner push that a person merits to uncover in himself, which will enable a person to push him very far in ruchniyus.

It is different than the regular kind of motivation we are used to. It feels like a constant sense of obligation to serve Hashem, no matter what a person is going through.

‘Tamid’: Consistency In Avodas Hashem

Of course, even at this level, a person will still has a physical body and a nefesh hebahimis, and he will still have to make use of those factors even after reaching the revelation of his Nefesh Elokis. But once the Nefesh Elokis is revealed in the person, it will mainly be the Nefesh Elokis which will be motivating a person, and not the nefesh habehaimis.

Chazal say that every day a Bas Kol (Heavenly voice) goes out and says “Woe is to the disgrace of the Torah.” Our Rabbis explained that although no one hears this in physical terms, one can hear the “Bas Kol” in his soul - when he merits a revelation of his soul.

It is not something which a person merely hears about or knows about intellectually. It is an inner push which awakens the one’s inner Divine soul. From then onward, everything changes. It feels like becoming a convert and like being born anew. The person is filled with an intense motivation and sense of obligation for ruchniyus.

Of course, there are always difficulties and spiritual failures even at that point, but the person will still feel a whole new sense of obligation in his life towards serving Hashem, and everything will look different.

Its revelation enables a person to have an avodah that is “tamid” – to “always” be able to serve Hashem, on a constant basis, no matter the situation. And there is depth within depth to it, because our inner world of the soul is vastly and incredibly deep.

One who penetrates into his inner world is able to an avodah that is “tamid”, and although there will still be ups and downs in his Avodas Hashem, it will still be a permanent kind of Avodas Hashem, like “a constant fire that burns on the Altar”. And there is even more subtlety to it than what we have said here about it.

Constantly Serving Hashem: Naturally, Not Forcibly

ותהי לרצון תמיד עבודת ישראל עמך – The simple meaning of our request here is that our avodah always be desirable to Hashem, whether we are on a spiritual high or low. But the depth of the request is that we should reach an avodah that is “tamid” – to be able to constantly serve Hashem. Although the Korbon Tamid is not here right now, in our own soul, we can have an avodah that is “tamid”.

In order to reach that place of “tamid” in ourselves, we need to go through the first stages, as we explained; and after that, we can then merit to enter our inner world, which gives us a natural push for ruchniyus, making our Avodas Hashem easier and more natural to us – enabling us to constantly serve Him.

The concept of “Tamid”, consistency in serving Hashem, is reflected in the possuk of “Shivsi HaShem L’Negdi Tamid” (“I place Hashem before me always”) – which does not mean to think constantly of Hashem by forcing ourselves to do so; rather, it means to naturally think about Hashem all the time.

That can only come when our inner world, our Nefesh Elokis, is revealed – which provides an inner push in the soul that constantly motivates a person to serve Hashem.

In Conclusion

The words here are actually describing a very hidden kind of experience.

It is very possible that a person doesn’t know about these concepts at all, and therefore he has a very superficial perspective about what Avodas Hashem is. One is apt to think that Avodas Hashem is all about holy stubbornness (which comes from the element of earth in the soul) or that’s entirely about a spiritual thirst (water), or entirely a spiritual desire for movement (wind) or that’s an entirely spiritual fire (fire). That’s what it indeed ‘appears’ to be, when you observe Avodas Hashem from the ‘outside’ and superficial perspective.

But the truth is that the inner kind of life is totally different than the superficial perspective. It is the world of the Nefesh Elokis - of people who serve Hashem with their souls and because they have reached the light of their soul.

When a person is there, he doesn’t even entertain the possibility of “I don’t feel like serving Hashem now”, because to him, serving Hashem is like the air we breathe. Maybe he serves Hashem better at some times and less at other times, but it’s unthinkable for him to not want to serve Hashem at all.

ותהי לרצון תמיד עבודת ישראל עמך -  May we merit to reveal the depth of the Jewish soul, which is to be in state of tamid (constantly serving) Hashem.