Droshos - Life Before Death

What Was Our Neshamah Doing Before It Came Down Here?

There is something good they have in America: it’s called “Sunday.” It’s a time of the week in which people have off from work. But the question is: what to do with this time. Hashem gave Sundays to us as a day off; is it only so that we can spend more time with our family? It’s a day where we can reflect on the purpose of our life.

Hashem took a soul, carved it out from His Throne, and sent it down to this world. For what purpose did He send our soul here for? And if we know that purpose, we still have to ask ourselves if our life is heading towards that goal we were sent here for.

What is the purpose of life? Is it so that we should be a good husband, a good father, to support our family, and to give tzedakah…or is there more to our life?

Think about what our soul was doing in Heaven before it came down here. What was our soul doing in Heaven? Yes, it was very happy there. But what was our soul actually doing there all the time?

Our Soul’s Inner Yearning

Let’s say a person was married to a woman for 70 years, and then his wife dies one day. This is a very hard thing to go through. When you have a wonderful relationship for 70 years, it’s very difficult to just move on.

Before we were born, we learned the entire Torah in the mother’s womb. When we are born, this is very hard for our soul. It’s a very hard transition. This is really why a baby cries as soon as he’s born – he misses the Torah he was learning.

It seems as if we have all forgotten our first relationship we once had with Hashem!

Once there is a relationship, it’s very hard for us to just severe ourselves from the relationship. When a spouse dies after 70 years of marriage, it’s extremely painful for the other spouse who remains alive. You don’t just forget your spouse after living with him\her for so many years.

That is the moshol. The lesson of this is very clear – our own soul has left Heaven, from the wonderful relationship it enjoyed, and it can’t just forget this relationship so easily.

Life After Death

Chazal say that one must know where he came from, and to where he is going. We must all know that we came down from Heaven, and we will go back there one day. Are we aware from where we came from – and to where we are eventually going?

We will all leave this world eventually. Do we know where we are going to? We are going to a whole different world than what we see now. Should we go there if we don’t know anything about it? Don’t we all want this transition to go easy for us, so that we will feel at home when we get there?

If we want to be comfortable when we get to Heaven eventually after we die, we must already prepare ourselves on this world, and to learn about what life is like in Gan Eden.

One day, we will all go back to Gan Eden, where all day the Torah is being learned. Are we ready for that? Are we ready to learn Torah all day?

Most of us would be afraid of what to do with themselves if they wouldn’t work. We all want to have something to do one day when we get old and can’t work anymore. Do we realize that one day our life will end, and that we will no longer have our job? Are we aware of reality?

Most people are terrified of the thought of death. But if a person lives a true kind of life, he doesn’t fear death, because he realizes that death is just another step – it is another step in the process of living a truthful kind of life.

Let’s be very honest. Are we ready to learn Torah all day in Gan Eden, after we die? Do we look forward to that?

Imagine if Hashem would come to a person and tell him, “You don’t have to worry at all about money. I’ll give you all the money in the world. Just learn Torah all day.” Would any of us be ready for that?

If someone answers, “Yes”, then it shows that he does indeed want to learn Torah, even though he works. But most people would answer, “No, I’m not ready to learn Torah all day, even I don’t have to work and I have all the money in the world.”

Balancing Your Torah Learning With Working Life (If You Work)

I understand that everyone needs a source of livelihood. I also need a livelihood. But what I’m asking is: What are our aspirations in life? Dovid HaMelech says in Tehillim, “One thing I ask of Hashem, that I sit in the house of Hashem all the days in my life.” Is it only Dovid HaMelech who said this, or do any of us feel that way also, that we wish we could sit and learn all day, even though we work?

I understand that not everyone can sit and learn all day. But imagine if you have a child who can’t walk; do the parents not want him to walk? Of course they want him to walk. It is just that he can’t. So even if a person can’t sit and learn all day, he should at least want to.

If we have to go to work, then of course it’s necessary for us to go to work. But as we leave shul in the morning, shouldn’t we at least wish that we could linger in the beis hamidrash and learn, even though we have to go to work?

Hashem wants us to desire the right kind of life.

When Adam sinned, he was told that now he will have to work to make a living. This was a curse, not a blessing. We have to realize that ideally, man was not supposed to work – and our whole situation of having to go to work is a curse. Of course, now we have to work; but we still have to realize that it’s a curse placed upon mankind.

When a person is in jail, he knows that he has to be in jail as a punishment, but he knows that jail is not his real life. He wants to get out of jail.

The same attitude we need to have if we work. When we go out to work each day, we have to realize that it’s not the real situation we are supposed to be in. We should realize that although we have to work,  we should wish that we could sit and learn all day.

“Take my soul out of prison.” Dovid HaMelech says: Take my soul out of the prison of my body. Our soul is imprisoned by our body. We have to want to come out of the materialistic pursuits of the body.

What Does Hashem Want From You?

What does Hashem want from us, and what should we want from ourselves?

The first thing we need is to have a desire for a true kind of life – the real kind of life. Most people are not rich, but most people still want to be rich. The same goes for learning Torah – not everyone is zoche to sit all day and learn. But we should at least wish that we could.

If a person doesn’t aspire to sit and learn all day, then he has no hope for a true kind of life. However, if a person at least wishes that he could sit and learn, then even if he works, he at least has hope that he will live a true kind of life.

We may not have the time to be able to sit and learn all day, but we should at least want this. Hashem wants us to really want, want, and want to learn Torah – even if we can’t actually do it. We have to at least want to.

Even if a person works to make a living and he can’t learn Torah all day, he has to at least want deep down in his heart to be able to learn all day.

After a person dies, he goes to Heaven. If someone truly learned Torah on this world, he has what to do when he gets to Gan Eden, because people are learning Torah in Gan Eden. Even if someone on this world worked to make a living, if he had a deep wish inside to learn Torah, then he will find what to do in Gan Eden – he will be able to learn the Torah he always wanted to learn. But if someone didn’t even want to learn Torah, he will have nothing to do when he gets to Heaven.

A Guarantee For Getting Into The Next World

How can a person know if he will get Olam HaBa or not?

There are two ways how you can know you’re heading towards Olam HaBa. One way is if you sat and learned Torah on this world – and the other way is if you want to learn Torah all day, even if you didn’t.

I will say something now that is a bit harsh. If a person gave a lot of tzedakah on this world, and he also wanted to learn Torah – then when he gets to the next world, his tzedakah will uplift him and be a merit for him. But if he gave tzedakah and he didn’t want to learn Torah, then his tzedakah will not be a merit for him when he gets to Heaven, and it will be the opposite – it will feel like Gehinnom for him.

Hashem wants us to all have the desire to want to learn Torah. If we really want to learn Torah, then we have a real life. Not to have this desire is a life that is death. I hope that all of you here, from the depths of my heart, should gain a desire to want to learn Torah all day; and through that, maybe we will also actually merit to sit and learn Torah all day.

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QUESTIONS AND ANSWERS WITH THE RAV

Q: How can the Rav say that we won’t get into Olam HaBa if we don’t desire to learn Torah, won’t our other mitzvos help us get in?

A: The Zohar says that our mitzvos are like a garment, while our Torah is our soul. If a person comes into the next world with just garments and no soul – he’s like a body without a soul.

Q: If people who are sitting and learning all day are living the right kind of life, while we who work, who want to support our families – but we wish deep down that we could be able to sit and learn all day – are we only living a “b’dieved” kind of life?

A: First of all, the fact that you wish you could sit and learn all day makes you feel pain at this, and the pain itself is an atonement…The fact that you know that your life is a “b’dieved” kind of life is already an atonement. As long as you wish you could learn Torah, you will have hope in achieving you want. It’s like a person who is in jail – if he wants to get out of jail, he will have hope in getting out of jail. But if he never desires to get out of jail, he won’t ever get out of jail.

Q: What should I do if I realize that I don’t have any time to learn Torah, because all day I am either working or taking care of my family?

A: Good question. Firstly, realize that it’s a problem. Then realize that since there’s nothing you can do - and cry to Hashem about this. If you don’t cry about it, it shows you don’t realize how much of a problem it is. But if you cry to Hashem about it, Hashem will help you find time to learn Torah.

Q: If a person can’t sit and learn all day, but he still wishes that he could, what can he do to protect his aspirations?

A: Very good question. Every day, for 15 minutes a day, sit quietly, and ask yourself: “Who am I? What is the purpose of my life? Am I on the right direction in life?”

If you have pain that you aren’t on the right direction, then that pain itself will lead you to the right direction in life.

Q: If I want to learn Torah, but I also have other good desires in life – such as a desire to give a lot of tzedakah, chessed, and to support my family – what is wrong with that?

A: Imagine you come to a Shabbos meal and you have fish, kugel, and dessert – but you don’t have challah – what kind of meal is that? The primary blessing on a meal is on the challah. The lesson from this is that Torah has to be our primary desire in life; after that, we can want many other good things. But if we are missing the primary will of learning Torah, then everything else we do is like a building built on air, and it will have no foundation.

I hope that all of you will strengthen the inner will that is found in a Jew.