Fixing Your Earth [Sadness] - 002 Maintaining Inner Vitality

Water-of-Earth-of-Earth: Dried Out From Vitality

With siyata d’shmaya we shall continue to learn about the element of earth, and the trait of sadness. In this lesson we will learn specifically about sadness which comes from the “water” within earth.

Earth is an element which is both dry and cold. The existing properties of the elements are dryness, moisture, heat, and coldness. The trait of laziness stems from the coldness in earth, and the trait of sadness results from the dryness in earth. The main aspect of earth is its dryness. In contrast to this, water is an element which is cold and moist. Water is the opposite of earth because water is a moist element while earth is a dry element, but water bears a similarity to earth due to its coldness. The coldness of water can awaken the coldness of earth, and once earth is brought to the fore, its main property, dryness, will also be present.

The first time in the Torah where water and earth combine is by the combination of man, who is created from the heavens and earth. Water and earth can mix together, which becomes cement. At first, cement is moist, but after some time, the cement dries and it hardens, where it becomes the opposite texture than how it started out. At first the water overcomes the earth, it starts out as a moist substance, but after some time the earth overpowers the water, and it becomes dried and hardened.

Applying this in terms of our soul, we find that one can first be full of vitality about something – this is due to his element of which is water, which is a living element - but after some time, he becomes “dried out” from what he’s doing. His “water” becomes dried, hardened, and earthy, and instead, his “earth” overpowers his water, and he “dries up”.

When someone keeps doing something that is life-giving, this is called a “ben ish chai”, one who is a “living man.” In contrast to this, when he stops doing these live-giving actions, his earth overpowers his water and he becomes dried out from what he’s doing. When he makes sure to keep moving without interrupting, he is energized, and his water overpowers his earth. The constant movement will enable his water to overpower his earth. But the more he takes breaks in his actions and he stops what he’s doing, or if he is only taking minimal breaks and he really needs more than that, his earth overpowers his water and he will become dried out.

Motivations That Stop A Person From Performance

What we will need to know is: What is motivating the person to stop doing whatever he was doing? Why did he stop?

One reason is because of laziness. Another reason can also be sadness. If a person is sad while doing something, the sadness can cause him to stop what he’s doing, and then he has to start over again, which makes it harder. Or, he will keep interrupting what he was doing, always taking breaks.

Laziness can cause a person to take many breaks, and sadness as well can cause a person to take many breaks. These are two different sources of why a person interrupts his performance, but they are both rooted in the element of earth.

Stopping one’s work can also come from an impaired element of wind. We find that in the Egyptian bondage, the Jewish people were tired and exhausted from their kotzer ruach, their “shortness of breath”, which made them feel avodah koshoh, difficult labor.[1] When one feels that he has to stop, when he is sad about what he’s doing, and this makes his work feel too hard. He becomes ‘dried up’ and he feels heavy inside.

The element of water can also be a source of stopping one’s actions. These are people who only act when they feel a chiyus, energy, in what they are doing.

In contrast to this, a person whose main element is earth will stay in his job long after he receives his pension, because he stays where he is and he thrives on permanence and routine. Another kind of person will work as long as there is a purpose to his work – this is the element of wind (direction). Others work as long as they are enthused about what they are doing (fire). Others will only work at something they find pleasurable (water). If they enjoy it, they do it, and if not, they drop it. Of this Chazal say, “He tears his Torah study into torn pieces.”[2] When he has his ‘water’ (his energy), he performs, but when he isn’t getting his water\energy, he doesn’t.

The same problem is with fire. People who are water-based or fire-based thrive either on pleasure or enthusiasm, and their whole life is a cycle of performing, stopping, and getting back into it, repeating the cycle. They are constantly going through the statement of Chazal that “All beginnings are hard”,[3] but they are in a dire situation, because they keep interrupting what they are doing. This is not a way to live.

So far, we have seen how the problem of interrupting one’s performance can come from any of the four elements [within earth] – earth, water, wind or fire. Each of these can be further analyzed. Here we are speaking about the problem of stopping performance which comes from water-of-earth, which is when one needs to constantly move in order to feel alive, and when he stops moving, he loses his aliveness and he becomes dried out.

Joy Comes From Constant Inner Movement

Now we shall proceed to understand the following.

The ideal way to live, as opposed to a life of atzvus\sadness, is to live a life of simchah\happiness. A person cannot always maintain an equal level of simchah at all times. A clear example of this is that the Torah calls Succos as “zman simchaseinu”, time of our joy, which implies that normally, we do not have this simchah. Rather, sometimes we are more joyous, and sometimes we are less joyous. In the Three Weeks, we are in mourning, but even Sefer Eichah was composed with ruach hakodesh, which the prophet could only have amidst a state of simchah. What we can learn from this is that simchah must always present in one’s life [even when there is pain]. Certainly there are different levels of simchah, but there should always be some level of simchah.

Simchah (joy) exists only when there is constant movement for the soul taking place, which provides a person with chiyus, a spiritual source of life-giving energy or vitality. When constant movement is missing from the soul, or if a person isn’t moving at all, he is kind of dead inside. When one is ‘dead’ in his soul, this is the total level of sadness, because there is nothing more saddening than death. “Death” in the soul - or the cessation of movement in the soul - is the root of all sadness in the soul. Therefore, simchah\joy requires a state of constant inner movement in the soul.

(On a deeper level, simchah is when we actualize our potential. This is a deeper level of simchah though which we are not speaking about here).

Movement produces happiness, whereas the absence of movement is death and sadness. A dead person doesn’t move, and ‘death’ in the soul is when a person has no inner movement. By contrast, simchah\joy is when there is constant movement taking place. Certainly a person cannot always be moving, because this is physically impossible. A person only moves when he needs to get things done, but otherwise, he doesn’t move. What we mean is that a person always can access inner movement, in his soul. In this way, one can always be in a state of movement, and then he will always be able to find joy.  

Resting In Order To Continue Afterwards vs. Resting In Order To Rest

For example, even when one rests or goes to sleep, where he will not be moving, he knows that he will have to get up after some time and continue to be active. So even when he is getting into bed to rest, or he is relaxing or taking a break, he can be aware that he is in between one movement and the next. In this way, he can always feel like he is in movement, so that he never ceases totally from moving.

In This World, we cannot attain total serenity. “Torah scholars do not have complete menuchah (serenity), not in This World and neither in the Next World.”[4] Only in the future, in the Next World, will we have total menuchah. For now, any of the menuchah that we can attain exists within our world of movement, which means that our menuchah on This World is never a complete state of menuchah. We are constantly going through a cycle of movement, rest, and movement. So even when we rest, it is for the sake of returning to movement afterwards. It is never a total rest. This should become our perspective towards resting from activity: even when we rest, it is not a total rest, and it is only for the purpose of being able to move again later, after we have become refreshed.

As we are explaining, joy can only exist when there is movement. Therefore, a person always needs to be in a state of “movement” so that he can be joyous. Even before going to sleep or taking a break, one needs to be aware that he will be returning to work afterwards, so that he doesn’t feel like he is completely stopping his movements.

Complete Rest Is “Death” For The Soul

There are two different reasons why a person would stop moving.

One reason, which has detrimental results, is when a person feels very down, in a dismal mood, where he doesn’t feel like doing anything at all. This is called dikaon (crushed spirit). A person in this state will want to crawl underneath his blanket, go to sleep, completely tune out the world and all of his life, and he wished he could just fall into an eternal sleep and never wake up. Sleep is considered to be “a sixtieth of death”, so when a person wishes he could sleep forever and a put a stop to everything, this is a deathlike state for the soul, because he is trying to cease all of his movements. Just as there is physical death, so can there be death in the soul, and that is when a person wants to stop all movement.

In contrast to this, one can have altogether different attitude towards resting and taking breaks, which is constructive: all interruptions of one’s performance should be seen as a break for the sake of performing better afterwards.

Taking a break from activity, or resting or going to sleep, should never be seen as a desire to access a state of total serenity. Rather, the break should be seen as a means to a greater end, which is that it will enable a person to perform and continue better afterwards.

This is a major change of perspective, and it causes an inner overhaul. Without this perspective, a person has “death” in his soul whenever he ceases activity and he wants to rest. One must know that it is not a healthy state of the soul to feel that he is in state of total serenity from all activity.

Therefore, whenever you return to your activities after you rest, you should view it as a continuation from before, as opposed to starting over again anew. If your attitude is that you need to take a break from your activities and then you will start again anew, this means that you are interrupting your state of movement. When you stop moving, this brings on sadness, because as it has been explained earlier, non-movement is “death” for the soul. Instead, you should be aware, when taking a break, or when you rest or go to sleep, that is so that will continue your activities afterwards, and not because you are trying to cease all movement.

When one lives in this way, he is never completely interrupting his state of movement, even when he takes breaks from moving. Living in this way distances a person from sadness, and instead, he can be in a state of joy even when resting.

One should first contemplate this change of perspective on an intellectual level, and then put it into practice. Practically speaking, whenever a person takes a break or he is about to rest, he should know that it is for the purpose of returning to work afterwards, and not for the purpose of simply taking a break.

2. Drawing Movement From Breathing

Taking this another step further, one should also try the following, when he is about to rest, so that he can always feel like he in a state of movement. One should try to add on some tiny amount of movement even when he’s resting, so that he doesn’t become completely inactive.

For example, whenever one is taking a break from work or from any other activities, he should try doing some small “movement”, so that he doesn’t become completely non-moving. A good example of this is by becoming aware of the simple movements of his breathing.

When one is lying on his bed, he can try becoming aware of his breathing. There are two basic kinds of breathing: Focusing quietly on your soft breathing, and taking quick, deep and strong breaths, on the exhale and inhale, with acute awareness of the breathing. When one becomes aware of his breathing - first on an intellectual level and then on an experiential level, where he can feel his breathing more acutely – even as he’s lying on bed and doing nothing, he will be accessing some movement. This keeps him in a state of movement, so that his rest doesn’t become total and deathlike, and this allows him to remain in a joyous state.

It should be noted that we are not speaking here of how to draw joy from any higher levels of the soul, but on a very basic level, from the nefesh habehaimis (the “animal” level of the soul), within the realm of basic emotions (koach hamargish).[5] There are deeper levels of joy as well, which are a higher experience than the feelings of the nefesh habehaimis, and it requires a different avodah to reach. Here we are speaking about a simple ability present even in the “animal soul”: an ability to listen to, and sense, the inner movements of the soul.  

There are different ways to go from sadness from joy. One of the ways, which we have described in this lesson until now, is by increasing movement. But there is another way. Since we live in a world of movement, a person is always able to find movement. We are not speaking about the constant movements of planets and stars in the Creation, which we cannot feel. We are speaking of a constant movement that we can feel and sense from within ourselves: the movements of the soul.

One can become aware that he is using his power of action, or his power to feel emotions, or his power of thought. But even when one isn’t performing any action, and even when his emotions and thoughts are quieted (relatively speaking), he can still feel the movements in his soul, by becoming aware of his inhale and exhale.

When one becomes aware of the simple movement of his breathing, he will always be in a state of joy, because he is accessing the movements of the soul, which provide joy and which don’t allow for sadness to set in.

Pain vs. Sadness

A person in this state may still be able to feel merirus, “bitterness” – which is a constructive feeling of pain - but he will never feel atzvus, sadness, which is detrimental.

As explained in the Sefer “Tanya”, the difference between merirus\bitterness and atzvus\sadness is, that merirus is a feeling of pain which is constructive and which increases the quality of a person’s life, whereas atzvus is a feeling of sadness that is self-defeating and toxic for the soul. One can feel merirus, a sense of bitterness, over his sins, but this doesn’t have to bring him to the non-productive feelings of sadness known as atzvus. Through merirus, a person is able to do teshuvah, because he is bitter enough to feel remorse over his sins and to repent, but this is not the case with atzvus, which simply leaves a person feeling down and dispirited.[6]

What is the difference between merirus\bitterness, which is constructive, and atzvus\sadness which is not? Merirus is a feeling of bitterness where the movements of the soul are very much active. When one is pained over his sins, he is really feeling the pain of contradictions: he notices that there is a contradiction between his knowledge and feelings with the way he acts, and this feels painful to him. His bitterness over his sins is a movement in his soul. In contrast to this, atzvus is a sadness that does not come from movement in the soul. It is the very opposite – it is a feeling of sadness borne out of an absence of movement in the soul.

Even when we mourn the destruction of the Beis HaMikdash, we can be aware that it is also the day when Mashiach is born. This is how we make our pain constructive, purposeful, and meaningful. That is merirus.

The more one becomes aware of the inner movements taking place in his soul, he will always feel himself in a moving state, and hence he will distance himself from further and further from sadness, and instead he draws himself closer to joy.

Certainly, life is not entirely pleasant and calm. Life is complex. The Mesillas Yesharim states that no one on this world has complete serenity and peace in his personal lot in life. But pain does not have to become sadness. Pain is a movement of the soul, and that makes pain another source of chiyus, vitality. This is also the depth behind the concept of “Rejoice in suffering”[7] which the Sages taught. Pain is another source of vitality. When one has this perspective, he can always find himself in a state of movement, and then he will be able to find joy even amidst suffering and pain: because pain is a kind of inner movement, and joy is derived from being in a state of inner movement.

In Conclusion

The more one listens to, and becomes aware, to his inner movements of the soul, he repairs the element of water-of-earth-of-earth. He will always feel like he is in a state of movement, which will stop him from feeling “dried out” of inner vitality. When one lives in this way, he lives a life of repaired water-of-earth-of-earth.